Thoughts on God and Africa

My Dad

2012-01-23T20:07:00.006+03:00

Jan 21, 2012

My father is dying. This complex man: father, encourager, preacher, alternative treatment enthusiast, supporter and would-be comedian is finishing his time on this side of eternity. It is 2:24am and I sit sleepless and sad beside his ICU bed. He has chosen to have Do Not Resuscitate status and so I am torn between wanting him to be comfortable and in control of his own outcome (as much as God allows) but otherwise wanting him to accept the medical treatment options available to him. Part of my jet lagged brain screams, “No, we cannot just let him die! How can it be ethical to allow nature to take its course when there are so many options available.” But the prevailing thought is that he made the choice to die a natural death when his mind was still good and I can honour him but supporting that decision.

Dad’s condition has been deteriorating for a couple of decades. His care for himself was a complicated and inconsistent regimen of a myriad of natural supplements and miracle cures and a disdain for FDA approved pharmaceutical medications. He firmly believes in a number of unorthodox things like IV Vitamin C for deadly diseases. For years he took several herbal supplements to cleanse his body of toxins all the while eating chemical laden processed foods. I guess he would be described as a stubborn man, but there is sweet naiveté about him and the way he makes decisions for himself and sticks to his guns regardless of the criticism.

We did not realize how sick he was before this illness. He has had atrial fibrillation for 11 years and as he refused the recommended medications, his body has grown weaker and weaker. We do not know when the Congestive Heart Failure began but now his body is weak and his heart is not pumping adequately. His kidneys have recently become damaged and so his body is filling up with water causing respiratory failure. For three and a half days he has worn a machine that pushes oxygen filled air into his lungs for him as his own breathing was inadequate. He has told us several times in his usual roundabout way that he does not want the machine and said once, “If it is time for me ot go then I want to go.” Yet he has allowed us to keep putting the uncomfortable mask back on him after his times of eating a few bites of his meals and talking with us. Each time there was a growing misery in his face as we assisted the nurse or physical therapist in fitting it to him. Finally last night he refused it in his gentle way. Now he is receiving oxygen only through a nasal cannula, a specially formed tube that directs the oxygen into his nose.

Before long, carbon dioxide will build up in his blood and his mind will become confused again, probably for a number or hours or perhaps a couple of days before he lapses into persistent unconsciousness. Death will occur without him waking again unless God performs a miracle. How does one accept an elderly parent’s choices? I think it can be likened to the way I accepted his word as law, not understanding his reasoning but trusting him as the parent God gave me to. I think about respect and my father and I thank God that He has enabled that in me. I have been disappointed with some of the decisions Dad has made for over 65 years, but with maturity and the grace of God in my own life, He has enabled me to extend grace to him. The older I get the more I realize the beauty of grace given and my desperate need for it.

This man would rather make people laugh than do anything else, close behind that charming but sometimes annoying trait, would be his desire to see people come to know the saving grace of our God in Jesus Christ. Dad has always been one to repeat himself to make sure that we understood the things he believes so passionately. Repeating himself is sometimes a way to convince himself and sometimes it is because his firm beliefs must be shared or he will burst. I have heard some of the same stories and sermons more than 50 times.

He just woke again for the hundredth time tonight and drank a little water. He said, “Thank you, Hun” and dozed off again. What will be the last coherent words this man says to me? Oh how the lump in my throat grows when I think about the near future. I arrived in Arkansas about 30 hours ago after a rushed departure from the bush of South Sudan with the aid of the UN who flew me out to the capital city where I could catch a flight to Kenya and then to the US. During the whole journey I kept trying to prepare myself for the news from home on each layover that he had already passed, but each time my sister told me that he was watching the clock, knowing that I was coming to see him.

This man loves combinations of chocolate and peanut butter, an affinity he passed on to me. He hates to feel the seam in the toes of his socks and will not tolerate it. He helped assemble thousands of Ford cars back in the 1960s and has a knack with fixing engines with his own special flare. He called me knucklehead and “shua” (meaning stinker in Choctaw) as a child and calls me his girl or "Hun" as an adult. He has remarkably slow metabolism and has been overweight all of my life. He has a unfathomable faith in any person or piece of literature that says diseases can be cured naturally. He has a hope in Jesus that has brought him to tears of joy countless times and looks forward to heaven with a refreshing hope.

He has had the same hairstyle since the 1950s. He loves for people to wear bright colours, his favourite is turquoise. He says, “Of all things...” proceeding statements that he feels awkward, embarrassed or frustrated about. He is always supporting and encouraging of the work I do. He has the heart of a missionary having himself served God among several American Indian tribes and gone on a few independent trips to Mexico. He thinks the best cars are Renault and has kept his old Renault van for over three decades though it has not run for at least half that time.

He loves affection--from family, friend, pet, etc. and found great joy in raising guinea pigs while we were children. He spoiled them outlandishly purchasing endless supplies of celery, lettuce, carrots and other fresh things for them to supplement their guinea pig pellet diet causing intestinal issues for them which he was happy to overlook since they enjoyed the excess fresh stuff so much. He would hold Iski, a favourite, for a long time every day allowing the pet to sit on his shoulder. He broke his arm taking care of a pet goat when he was 60. He likes to mimic the sound a donkey makes and talks about God’s sense of humour and creativity in the personality of a cocky rooster.

He can make his eyebrows dance and has done it several times here in the past day as he communicates his desire to make us laugh when words take too much energy. He has no arch in his feet—a genetic trait that prevented him from joining the army during the Koren conflict. He loved his mother and respects her memory always. He drank iced tea every day of his life except a few days following surgery in the 1980s and this week in the ICU. He thinks you can never get too much ice in his cup and if it isn’t packed in there all the way to the top then the drink is not cold enough. He went through a phase about 20 years ago in which he planted about 50 trees in his yard in the space of about two years. He does not like cold weather and talks about “Old Arthur” when his joints become stiff and painful. He bit his fingernails until he had to get dentures.

He has always been eager for me to marry, desiring a loving relationship for me, but has never given me a hard time that I have not made that step yet. He has never looked as old as he is and I think he has passed that trait on to me along with a rather too curvy backside. He likes playing games but gets quietly irritated when he does not win.

When I look in the mirror sometimes I am startled to see his face in mine. He has a really large mouth, another trait I have taken from him. When I was a kid he was always helping someone in need. Back then he would pick up hitchhikers and even allow them to sleep on our couch if they did not have anywhere to go. Until this week, he read ten chapters a day of the Bible since coming to know Jesus. He recently was trying to compute how many times he has read though the Bible, but I did not hear the result. He has hair growing out of his ears in the curious elderly man kind of way, but he does not seem like an elderly man to me, just a very sick man.

He tells corny jokes and gets tickled when he can make others laugh. He loves to talk—-he is a verbal processor and one has to be assertive to get a word in when he gets going. I will think of his puns when we have turkey at Thanksgiving and Christmas. EVERY single year when he arrives for the meal he says, “I smell a ‘fowl’ odour in here.” I think I will start saying that for him. Corny puns once causing me to inwardly roll my eyes will be dear to me after he is gone.

A day filled with drama and suffering

2011-10-24T21:37:00.006+03:00

This morning we learned that Titus, a lovely older man who was bitten by a rabid dog two months ago succumbed to death after a week of suffering pain, muscle spasms, insanity, hydrophobia and confusion.

Jima, a little malnourished boy who came on Thursday and was making great progress died this morning. He was making gains every day and was out of the woods as far as we were concerned. Yesterday I thought I would discharge him into the outpatient nutrition program this afternoon. However, I guess the grandmother wasn't pleased with his progress and took matters into her own hands. After he died this morning (after Dickson spent almost the whole night at the clinic saving him) we learned that the grandmother had fed him leaves and herbs yesterday. That explains why he suddenly became so sick and not in any of the usual ways we see life threatening illness--usually respiratory infections, dehydration and malaria are the things that kill, or almost kill. Dickson said he couldn't understand what happened because the boy was doing so well.

The other inpatient families told us about the leaves and herbs AFTER he died and the family took him away. They saw what the local "medicine" did to him. Something in the leaves or herbs slowed down his heart and breathing rate and he just went into death quietly--a type of poisoning I guess. The grandmother was probably sure she was helping. I wish the other families who observed this had told Dickson last night when he could have done something about it. This was the young mother's first baby. Please pray for her comfort and that the grandmother will learn from this tragic mistake.

Later in the morning I treated a woman for snake bite. She is suffering great pain and walked for hours on the swollen, painful leg to get medical treatment. She will be ok, but will have pain for a few weeks.
Angelina, a tiny, wasted malnourished child was given a concoction of roots by a witch doctor about 2 weeks aog. She has not spoken or eaten since, but finally drank some special milk for malnourished patients today. Such a sweet sight to see her little throat moving with the swallows. She still makes not a sound--neither speech, crying, laughing or moaning in spite of injection, certain pain, hunger, fear, etc. Her eyes have been expressionless but today she following me around with her eyes. Progress! Hum d'Allah!

After a long day at work I rode to the nearby market town of Bunj to take photos of my friend Magdalena’s family (her husband is in town for one week away from this job as a driver in Malakal). On the way a dog tried to attack me but I managed to get away without it actually making contact. I then nearly ran over my teammate on his bicycle. In town we enjoyed visiting and doing the "photo shoot" and eating the always present boiled pumpkin, such a huge part of the Sudanese diet this time of year.

As I was parking my bike by my tukul I noticed my neighbour Judy's' porch was glowing orange. Jokingly I called out "Judy, is your veranda on fire?" and then I realized there really WAS a fire, by the time I'd thrown my bicycle down and run to her she was pulling a blazing kerosene cooker out of her house on a rug. The scary part is that it rolled off with flames shooting several feet into the air right under her dried grass thatched roof. I knew if the roof caught the tukul and contents would go up in flames very quickly. Praise God with everyone helping dirt was thrown on the kerosene flames and the roof didn't catch.

That is a lot of adrenaline rushes in one day. I would like a boring day, but those don't ever really happen here.

Sharing the World

2011-10-10T21:53:00.009+03:00

Today a couple of my teen friends dropped in for an impromptu visit. Karissa was with me and so we were able to talk quite freely, not hampered by my limited Mabaan and Arabic. We chatted about our families, friends, hair weaves, clothing, school, food, language, etc. They laughed at my Mabaan and I laughed with them.

At one point one of them asked where my mother was and if I were going home before Christmas. They wanted to know how long it would take to walk there as that is how distances are measured when you live in the bush. When learning that it would be impossible to walk to my home to visit my family they were primed to hear about how big the earth and solar system is. It blew their minds that it takes over a whole day to fly to America because they do know a bit about planes being fast because of regular exposure to our charter plane that drops us into and takes of out of their lives.

We ended up giving them a geography lesson in an attempt to explain how far from Doro my American home is. I was shocked to learn that they don't even understand that Sudan is one of many countries in Africa and that Africa is just one of the seven continents. I shared a bit about people groups and languages and that Africa is surrounded by water separating it from the rest of the world. These girls are 14-15 years old and blessed to be in 2nd and 3rd grade, but they didn't even know this about their country or continent. To help you understant their perspective a bit--in Mabaan there is only ONE word for home, village, town, country, continent, etc. It is a very limited language. Because of a lack of education and opportunities, their world view is very, very small. They call the English language "Tuuk Khawaja" meaning the language of the white foreigner, not understanding that there are many European languages. I didn't get into that yet, a lesson for another day.

Karissa and I used water bottles to represent the Earth and the sun and how day and night happen at different times for us than you in America because of where we are and how the earth is always turning. You should have heard their exclamations of surprise and even disbelief! It was so entertaining and so fun to watch, but also rather discouraging that their education is appalingly neglected! I sketched the world with the continents and then showed them where Africa was, then Sudan, then South Sudan, then Doro and how our village is such a tiny speck that we don't even show up on the map of Africa.

We took the opportunity to tell them that even though we are so tiny in the grand scheme of the earth STILL God knows all about us every one of us, the number of hairs on our head and when one falls out. Their incredulous expressions were priceless. I would have loved to have captured them on camera but that would have ruined the moment.

This day ranks up there in a 1000 special moments in Doro. : )

New sisters

2011-09-18T23:35:00.004+03:00

These are some of my new sisters. Between April and July seven young women vocalized a desire to know God in our village. I had them over for a small party and some spiritual encouragement.

Rasala, right, is quite the poser. She picked up my sugar bowl (a Nutella jar) and proceeded to strike a series of poses with it. This one, where she was cracking herself up, is my favorite.

She is the vivacious and lovely daughter of Giine, the lady who does some cleaning and washing for us. Ginne has Rasala in school (she is one of the few teen girls I know who attends school regularly). I'm excited for her future.

Tears

2011-09-14T12:16:00.005+03:00

As many of you know, I'm a rather emotional person. I laugh--and cry--very easily. I feel things deeply and I think this is difficult for others to understand and they sometimes misinterpret what shows on the outside of me.

Recently I cried at the clinic over the suffering of a boy with tetanus. I removed myself from the presence of the patient and family, but some of the missionaries, Kenyan staff and CHWs saw me. Later, I'm sure the patient's family could see the evidence of my tears on my face when I resumed care of him.

A few days later, one of the Kenyans on our team told me she thinks I should never let the patients, their families or our staff see me crying as it might be construed as a lack of faith in God. While I appreciate her input and her attempt to help me understand her culture--I don't completely agree with her.

I need to give this a lot of thought. Would you like to weigh in? I'm particularly interested in your thoughts if you are African or have lived in Africa for some time.

Blessing!

2011-09-03T23:43:00.004+03:00

Today I met a woman named Blessing! This is a huge blessing to me!

While riding my bicycle with Karissa through a residential area of Bunj I heard someone say, "Hi Girls", in a casual, friendly manner. Wow! You have no idea how good that sounds when you are starving to chat with the women you live among!

I long for deeper relationships with the Mabaan women around me, but I'm so limited by my small grasp on their language and their absolute lack of English. Before meeting Blessing, my friend and co-worker at the Nutrition Program--Orpha, was the only Mabaan woman I knew who was fluent in English. Orpha is long-suffering with me as I deluge her with questions about language, culture, work, relationships, etc. Now I'll be able to spread out my questions and not be such a burden to her.

Blessing has just moved to the area and taken a job with the UN. We will become friends, I'm sure of it!

Thankful!

Bombs and Bubbles in the course of a day in South Sudan

2011-09-02T22:21:00.013+03:00

Today has been an atypical day.

I slept in until 7 since it was a ministry day for me—ministry day means I don’t have to be in the clinic and can do things like visiting, studying language, hanging out with nutrition program children, etc.

This morning during personal devotions I heard a strange sounding plane pass over, but only gave it a moment;s thought. About an hour later I learned that is was an Antonov, an old Russian bomber being used by the Sudan army. 30 minutes after it passed over us it dropped bombs on Kurmuk, a largish town in the disputed Blue Nile State. Fighting had ensued during the night in another town in that State between the Governor and the Sudan army, but I was unaware of this until I heard about the bombing. Needless to say my heart fell when I heard about this upsurge of violence in a new area along the border. There have been fighting and bombings taking place in South Kordafan State and the Abyei region, but it was limited to those two areas since Independence Day (as far as we know) until this week.

After hearing this news and praying, I carried on with my original plans and spent the early morning preparing to lead devotions at the TBA meeting. This is a quarterly continuing education meeting for the Traditional Birth Attendants in our area. We provide them with information, pertinent to births in this part of Sudan, and with birthing kits so that they can help women have safer, healthier deliveries at home.

Midmorning, during my time with the TBAs, a plane landed on the dirt airstrip near our compound. A teammate ran out to find out what was going on. It was an AIM charter plane that had just done an emergency evacuation of Kurmuk and Yabus, two towns just north of us. Both towns were bombed within minutes of this very plane departing from their airstrips. We praised God that they were removed safely just before the bombings occured.

When I finished devotions with the TBSs I ran to the airstrip to greet the people who had been evacuated from Kurmuk and Yabus. Amazingly the conversations were relatively light. The people in Kurmuk and Yabus had a very stressful night and morning, learning of the need for their immediate removal around 3am--but having the delay of waiting for a flight to come from Kenya to evacuate them. By the grace of God, everyone was able to smile, though the smiles of the two pilots were a little tight--they were making a second flight into Yabus for two more missionaries who did not get on the first evacuation flight.

After seeing the plane off to return for those missionaries, I went to my tukul and threw together an emergency bag in case we also needed to leave in a hurry.

Thirty minutes after take off from our airstrip the flight returned with two shaken passengers who had been at the airstrip when the bombing occurred following the first evacuation flight. They had run for their lives into the bush at that time and made the decision that they needed to evacuate as well. However, they had to wait for the plane to leave its passengers with us in Doro and return. When it did return for them it was on the ground in Yabus for only a minute to remove them.

Back on our airstrip in Doro the evacuees, nine in total, loaded back up and flew off for Kenya. Thank God for AIM missionary pilots John and Jay!

After waving them all off, I resumed my usual Friday afternoon ministry--always one of the highlights of my week. Our nutrition program has an inpatient compound where malnourished sick children are admitted and monitored while receiving special nutritional milk formula every three hours and medications for their illnesses. The mothers and children (strangers brought together by the diagnosis of malnutrition from many different villages) live together in tents for a few days to a few weeks while we daily weigh, assess, feed and medicate them. On Fridays I go and cut the children’s dirt caked finger nails and do manicures and pedicures for the mothers and grandmothers. This is a treat for them as such things as fingernail polish, clippers and lotion are only possessed by the wealthy.

While there I introduced the Mabaan women and children to bubbles! Oh what fun! One little girl shrieked in fear initially, but within seconds was giggling and trying to catch them. By the time I left, all the older children—who are not so sick--were blowing bubbles and having a grand time. There is something about bubbles that lightens every heart.

Throughout the remainder of the day no further news of fighting or bombing reached us, but let me tell you--I take notice and my heart starts beating a little faster than normal when I hear any aircraft now.

I arrived home wet, muddy and shivering as it rained while I was a the nutrition compound and I got a little wet trying to get everyone’s nails done. It drops into the 70s when it rains and when you are accustomed to 90s and 100s all the time, that is cold! I kicked back for about 30 minutes with a book about inspirational women in the Bible and then helped my teammate Karissa prepare dinner for the team. We did our best to make Mexican food, something we sorely miss here in Sudan without cheese, chicken, salsa, guacamole, etc.

As it is Friday night, our team is now having Movie Night in the common room watching a movie on someone's laptop. This little escape from the reality of Sudan is a weekly indulgence for us. I’m sitting this one out as I’m so behind on correspondence and wanted some time to process this roller coaster day. This was an atypical day--but one I wanted to share with you.

God has been faithful in protecting our SIM team in Yabus and other ex-patriot friends working in Kurmuk, but we know that the nationals haven't been removed from danger by any outside power greater than their own legs taking them into the cover of the bush and God giving them the strength and opportunity to do so. Our prayer is for them, that God will cover them with His feathers (Psalm 91:4), that He will show Himself powerful and a Rock of defense for them (Psalm 62:2). We ask Him to end the violence and bring reconciliation between Sudan and South Sudan, between governments and armies, between races and tribes...

Galatians 3 talks about a world of people who are one in Christ and therefore reconciled to God and each other. Sudan is very, very far from that place, but ultimately that is why we are here and we do not lose hope.

"Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law. You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise." Galatians 3:26-29

Will you pray for reconciliation with us as well?

Tempestous Emotions

2011-08-31T14:09:00.009+03:00

My emotional nature often gets the better of me and I find myself with tears running down my face prompted by things that are only slightly sad, or with laughing too hard at something only marginally funny to others but that has me in stitches, or with tight anger burning in my chest--with little provocation. Did God make me like this or is this my sinful nature? Sometimes I can take intense sadness or frustration with some grace and respond the way most of the rest of the Christian world would in the same circumstances--but other times I become an emotional basket case.

This past week was a case in point. We had a 12 year old boy arrive at the clinic with tetanus spasms. I had never seen a patient with tetanus and I hope never to again. It is a extremely painful and distressing disease. The body begins this response 5-15 days after exposure to the tetanus toxin. First the jaws begin to get stiff and within a day the body goes in to repeated spasms where the muscles clench all at once--creating what my Kenyan teammate refers to as the "Devil's Smile" where the body arches backward creating an unnatural curve head to toe as the muscles contract simultaneously, painfully and completely out of control. Unlike some other conditions that are distressing, in tetanus, the patient's mind is completely lucid so they are fully aware of how much they are suffering.

For the first day of Abuth's care I maintained decorum and did not cry as I provided care for him--pushing sedatives through his IV to relax the muscles for a short time and giving him injections for the pain. I was oncall that night and the strain wore on me as I saw his condition worsen in spite of the increasing amounts of sedative I gave him. As his distress increased my poise was finally lost the next morning. I went out behind the clinic building and sobbed. I returned some 10 minutes later but the evidence of my tears was on my face. I'm now told this could have been distressing to the family and made them think I had no hope for their loved one and/or no faith in God. That further burdens me. Obviously I do not want my emotional reaction to a patient's illness to make anything more difficult for the patient or the family!

For the next two days my heart was heavy for this boy and his family. He died during the third evening of his illness in the hospital closest to our clinic--a 30 minute plane ride away. I was alone in my tukul that evening and heard the mourning begin. My heart sank, but still I hoped that there was another reason for the wailing sound coming from the next compound--where some of his family are our neighbors here in Doro. Two teammates and I went and sat with them that night as they began the grieving process (following a phone call they received from the uncle who had accompanied him to the hospital.)

The Sudanese are usually very stoic and we are often left guessing as to what they are thinking. However, in death, the stoicism is gone and the raw pain comes out in their posture, faces, voices and flows over to all those around them. When there is a death immediately the women begin wailing and preparing the body while the men begin to dig the grave. Female friends and family gather around from the nearby villages and mourn with the immediately family--joining their voices in the haunting wails and songs. We sat on the ground in the dark without even a fire to light the night. We sat in support, we sat in silence, we sat in prayer. Suddenly there too I once again lost my composure and began sobbing. I hoped my sobs, different from their crying and wailing, were lost in the noise.

It was late and they gave us water to wash our faces with before sending us home. The next two days, while we were still at work in the clinic, many more friends and family joined them sitting on the ground in silence, sharing their pain. I appreciate their cultural way of sharing the grief. In Western culture we often try to fill the silences with words, uncomfortable with our thoughts and really not knowing what to say-but babbling on anyway.

I found the Mabaan mourning process comforting and honest. However, I'm concerned that lately I have been far more emotional than usual--when I do not have the excuse of a tragic death.

I've said "I'm wired this way" as an excuse for my occasional emotionally lability. Today in a Bible study I looked at my inadequacy and God's strength in my weakness. The question about when I feel most inadequate was easy--it is when I'm emotional. The Word tells me to fill myself with His Truth, to form my mind around Him and the wealth of information and life instruction He has provided. I'm told to ask for wisdom and to cry out for understanding. In the wake of last week, I'm doing that.

I wonder often what it really means to "guard my heart" as instructed to do. Lately my heart seems to be all over the place. In Proverbs 4 it tells me "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Let your eyes look directly forward and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure." Prov 22 "Hear, my son, and be wise, and direct your heart in the way."

My heart is surely wayward, following after this passion and that cause, blown about by the persuasive opinions of people of influence in my life. My emotions swing this way and that depending on my level of fatigue, physical hunger, the people I'm in the presence of, the fluctuations of my chemical make-up, my abilty to lean upon God, my sin weighing me down, the encouragement-- or lack there of-- from my friends, etc. 2 Tim 3 tells us that the Word equips us. I know sometimes when I'm studying, it is particularly piercing and so relevant to my life at that moment. But my life is so full of work, people, stimulating influences--distractions-- I forget so much of what I read and find myself floundering about, having my confidence and joy stymied, failing to stand upon the Truth of who God is in who I am in Christ.

Would that I could always "Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might..."

2 Timothy 2:22 "So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness."

Longing for more self-control and peace in the tempest...

A typical day

2011-08-19T17:13:00.005+03:00

A couple people have asked about my typical day here in South Sudan...

6:30 Hit snooze
6:35 Dress in my “uniform” of a long skirt and colorful blouse and run to the latrine.
6:40 Brush teeth and put on eye make-up. Prep for devotions if it is my turn to lead
7:00 Attend devotions with my SIM teammates
7:30 Eat a breakfast of oatmeal
7:52 Power-walk to the clinic
8:00 Attend/lead clinic staff devotions—right now we are going through the Gospel of Matthew. Many of our South Sudan believing friends do not have the concept/see the value of reading the Bible on their own. This is a valuable time for all of us studying the Word together.
9:00 Begin care for patients
10:30ish (Or anytime through the course of the clinic day) rush back to the compound storeroom for medications we are running out of in the clinic
2:30ish Walk back to my tukul for a lunch of bread and peanut butter or Ramen noodle soup and a carrot (if I’ve been so fortunate to have some flown out of the recent charter flight).
3:10ish Return to the clinic to continue patient care and supervision of Community Health Workers
5:30ish Finish work at the clinic, settle the inpatients in for the evening
6:00ish Begin cooking dinner. This year I’m blessed to have a small gas stove so this process usually takes less than an hour compared to 1 ½ hour last year using charcoal.
7:00 Share the meal and debrief about the day’s events and patients with my dear friend and teammate Karissa
8:00 Check online Sudan news, email and facebook
9:00 If on-call, go to the clinic to check on overnight patients, IVs, administer medications and pray with them
9:55 Take my malaria prophylaxis medication and brush teeth.
10:00 Remove the remarkable amount of sweat and grime I’ve collected in the course of the day, with a bucket of cool water, while looking up at the stars through the Neem tree over the shower enclosure.
10:30ish Crawl under the mosquito net, talk to God and read His Words to me
10:50ish Sleep!

If on-call (every 3rd or 4th night and every third weekend) there is always the possibility of the guard waking me to go to the clinic for an emergency or an IV that needs attention. Many days are not typical--but this gives you an idea of how things go when they are routine and there aren't any "fires" to put out.

Reflections on a year in Sudan

2011-06-30T10:02:00.004+03:00

June 28, 2011

Dear Friends and Family,

Greetings from Doro! This month marked one year for me in Sudan and I have been reflecting with amazement on the opportunities, relationships, miracles and life lessons that have filled my time. One year is merely a blip in time compared to the years most of my teammates have been on the field and I definitely feel like the baby of our group. It has been perhaps the best year of my life, albeit also the most challenging and heartbreaking. The needs here are great and it is easy to become discouraged with the limited impact we are capable of having. If you know the story of the starfish being thrown--one by one--back into the ocean after the storm left them stranded on the beach, you know what I’m thinking… “It made a difference to that one”.

The week of my one year anniversary I had malaria and spent most of the time in bed with debilitating fatigue. While grounded there I had some really amazing conversations with God and am now enjoying sweet times of refreshing with Him. It is too bad that I needed to be knocked off my feet to be still long enough for that to happen, but I am now able to appreciate that rather miserable week.

It is nearing time for my quarterly break when I will leave Sudan for Kenya for about 11 days. I am feeling the strain of the work more than last year and am anticipating a step back from the intensity. It is time to recharge, reflect, shop for supplies, fellowship with other missionaries, and plan and pray without the daily demands of the medical work—which I love, but recognize its drain on my emotions. Some psychologists have determined that individuals working in environments such as Sudan need a break every 10-12 weeks and I am now a big fan of that recommendation. Before I came to Sudan it seemed excessive to spend such a large amount of my support on flights into and out of Sudan every three months, but now I am so grateful for SIM’s arrangement and requirement of quarterly rest.

There are a few things in particular that I would like to ask you to pray about. South Sudan continues to be a nation of unrest. In the past four months literally hundreds of thousands of people have been uprooted from their homes in the Abyei and Nuba Mountains areas--with hundreds dead as a result of skirmishes between the northern and southern armies. Many of the people killed were civilians. Please pray for resolution in the disputed areas as South Sudan’s Independence Day approaches July 9th. Please pray for shelter, protection and food supplies for the internally displaced people crowding into other areas, without homes, the opportunity to plant crops, healthcare, etc.

There have been eight young people in the choir of the Doro church who have expressed an interest in knowing Jesus in the past two months. I am seeking time with each of the girls and hope to do regular discipleship and fellowship with them. Please pray for guidance and for me to find a way for quality time with them regardless of the language barrier and my clinic schedule constraints.

Please also pray for healthy team dynamics among our national staff and the missionaries. There have been some difficult situations lately. One of our Community Health Workers (CHWs) took a second wife and thus removed himself from employment with SIM. There has been some low morale and several illnesses among the other nationals, stress on the missionaries who have to take on more responsibilities than they can reasonably manage, disillusionment with the internship components for some of our newly graduated CHWs, political instability about 50 miles away, and the evacuation of our team in the town there, etc.

On the other hand, some of the highlights of this quarter have been a slight improvement in both my Arabic and Mabaan language skills that allow me, on a good day, to hold an awkward but heart-warming conversation with some of the ladies in our village. We always share laughs as we struggle to understand one another and share the joy of conversation—something I hope I never take for granted again.

We prayed for more help in the clinic and I am happy to inform you that two Kenyans--Dickson, a Clinical Officer, and Judy, a nurse, have joined our team for a year. They are a tremendous help! This past quarter has been exhausting and I cannot imagine what it would have been like without their support. My supervisor has taken on a more administrative role, so I am now the lead person in the clinic—as a new nurse and a new missionary that is a considerable challenge. As most of you know, leadership is NOT one of my gifts.

I have great news following another prayer request in my last letter! Pastor Bulis is back at work at the clinic providing a wonderful role model for our young staff, providing counseling and prayer with patients, providing translation in a pinch, and teaching a Bible lesson each morning with the waiting crowd.

Other highlights have been seeing many patients return to good health who I thought would surely die. I am amazed by the power of prayer and the resilience of the Mabaan people, many with medical conditions that we are not well equipped to treat—but they pull through, to the glory of God.
• Omna had probable Stephen Johnson’s syndrome and I despaired of her recovery, but after a week of treatment and prayers she was able to walk home and now comes back for follow-up visits smiling. In my year here I have seen only one other adult so close to death.
• Butros, a tiny triplet, who was the weakest of the three came to us with very serious pneumonia. Our solar power system was out and he needed oxygen. Our builder rigged a generator to our oxygen concentrator and with that added help the little guy made it through the first rough night. After several days of IV medications he is now home with his two brothers and happy parents. Their mother is involved in our Nutrition Program and receiving Plumpy Nut (a nutritious peanut based product for mal-nourished children) to help her produce enough breast milk for all three.
• Tenne, a 2.2 pound premature infant was with us for the first seven days of her life. On day five she quit breathing and required resuscitation for several heart-stopping minutes. (For you medical people—this was done without oxygen, epinephrine, intubation, etc.) I truly feel I witnessed a miracle. Just today we were able to get a charter flight for her to the nearest hospital through an African Inland Mission pilot. At the hospital she will have a more stable environment, more suitable medications and around the clock care that we are not staffed to provide in Doro. She has a long road ahead of her and I would greatly appreciate your prayers for her development. I had tons of time with her mother, Mary, and look forward to continuing a sweet friendship with her.

I will try to write more frequently and not make the letters so long. Thank you for the inquires many of you have sent. Thank you for your prayers for me and the people of Sudan. I love and appreciate having you with me on this incredible journey.

Grace and peace to you,
Sheila

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10
Some images of our lives…

This is Little Tenne during one of her brief bonding sessions with mom outside of the cardboard box incubator.

During dry season the Falatta/Ful’ba nomadic tribe live in Doro They don’t like their photo taken but their camel didn’t mind.

Kamal, Community Health Worker, assesses the nerves of a leprosy patient in the village of Piekage

Fascinating Cultural Experience

2011-06-16T21:49:00.007+03:00

Today I shared a remarkable experience with my Mabaan clinic co-workers.

Usually on Thursday afternoons we close the clinic and do some continuing education training for our Community Health Workers. Instead of our usual medical lecture today we decided to show them the inspirational movie, Gifted Hands. I was a little concerned before we started about how they would perceive the racial issues in the '60s and '70s but it turned out it was the public displays of affection that made them the most uncomfortable. I've never been more aware of how vastly different our cultures and world views are until today! Throughout the movie I was trying to understand how they would perceive it and also enjoying/but nervous about their thoughts of American culture.

If you haven't seen it, Gifted Hands is a lovely, wholesome, inspiring movie of a young African-American boy who has very humble beginnings but through hard work, the encouragement and strength of his God fearing mother, and prayer he becomes the leading pediatric neurosurgeon in the US.

Some of the awkward moments in the movie are 3-4 times when the young man briefly kisses his fiance in public. The Maaban watchers actually gasped the first time and then fidgeted with uncomfortable laughter. Let me help you understand where they are coming from. Mabaan husbands and wives do not sit together or even really talk to each other in public. If there is a need to go somewhere together they don't even walk side-by-side to get there. The man walks in the front with the woman usually about 10-15 feet behind him. When they arrive the man goes and sits with the other men and the woman goes and sits with the women. They do not speak or interact at all. They certainly wouldn't touch each other! The men make all the decisions, have all the control, can beat their wives for no reason, wouldn't ask a woman what she thinks, etc. Today my national friends saw the main character talking to, listening to, discussing his future together with his fiance and later as his wife, holding hands and sharing a brief kiss in 3 different scenes. Imagine the shock that is to them!

To be culturally sensitive on our missionary team are careful not to touch members of the opposite sex here except for shaking hands on greeting and touching during examinations when the medical work requires it. We try to avoid walking anywhere together if there is just one woman and one man going to that place. In church women sit on one side and men on the other. Men file out of the church at the end of the service and stand in a receiving line. When they are all out the women file out and stand further down the line. Usually when the hand-shaking receiving line is finished the men group up and talk and the women group up and talk. The only time the women and men mix during the fellowship after church is when we missionaries do it to talk to the men (the only Maaban who speak English are the men because they have opportunity for education that the women do not get).

For some of the viewers today (we included the Nutrition Program staff) it was their first time to watch a movie. They saw a different continent, a different culture, a different world view, definitely a different view of women. I'd love to know what they are all thinking....

one year in review

2011-06-06T21:43:00.008+03:00

Eyye, a extremely mal-nourished patient in our Nutrition Program--encouraged to eat the speciality food--Plumpy Nut.

Tea and Cake with some of our neighbors.

My first birthday in Africa came while I was at a team conference in Kenya. Real bday cake and candles surrounded by about 40 of my Sudan teammates.

Feeding giraffe at a refuge in Kenya. One of the few touristy things I've taken time to do.

With the ladies in New Khartoum

With the 2010 Doro Primary Health Care Center team plus visiting Dr Mike and Dr Rob.

My first experience putting in sutures.

Thanksgiving Day 2010 with my lovely friend Karissa.

With my friend Orpha who works with malnourished children at the Nutrition Village. She is the only national woman who speaks English in my area. She is gracious to help me with language, culture--tons of questions every time I see her. She translates for me when I do ministry at the Nutrition Village with the mothers once a week.

With the 2010 class of Community Health Workers on the day of their graduation.

At the UN peace keeping compound about a kilometer from where I live.

This is how we cook--over charcoal and it takes FOREVER! This was the lovely group of girls who were on our team when I arrived. They have all gone back to America and Canada now and our team is much smaller.

Seeing a patient at the clinic.

Visiting my friend Roda (far right) at her home in New Khartoum within a week of arriving in Doro.

The first baby I helped deliver in Doro.

Our 2010 Community Health Worker team the day we sent Masir to open a satellite clinic in an area desperately in need of medical care. The people there were walking six hours to come to our clinic.

Sushi night! Well, sort of...

A year ago today I left America for Sudan. It has been one of the best, if not the best year of my life. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to live and serve Him here. He is so good to me.

the second wife issue gets closer to home

2011-05-21T23:33:00.002+03:00

Today I learned that one of our best and most experienced Community Health Workers has taken a second wife and due to details in his contract with us--this means he can no longer work with us. I'm filled with disappointment and concern. I haven't heard his side of the story, but from this side, I just cannot see why he made this choice.

Roda

2011-04-29T22:50:00.008+03:00

A shared meal with ladies of the Green City church back in July 2010. Roda is the one with her hand on my shoulder.

In my first month of life in Doro Sudan I accompanied SIM team members to a church in a town called Green City about an hour's walk away. After the service we were welcomed into the tukul of a woman named Roda. She was only the second Maaban woman here that I met who spoke some English--though her English isn't much better than my bit of Arabic...

Anyway, I really felt like we connected, but the next couple of times I visited that church I did not see her. Today I was working in the clinic and saw her so I greeted her warmly and sat down with her on the cot where she was waiting to be assessed. She was there to be seen for complications in pregnancy and possible preterm labor but I would never have known from her demeanor. She was so delighted that I recognized her that she grabbed hold of me and didn't let go for a while. She took off the handmade bracelet on her arm and put it on me and then sat arms linked with me. As a touchy feely person I just ate that up! The Maaban are not big huggers, but they are hand holders. I appreciate the touches I receive so much! This is the way here--we can become close friends after only one meeting and pick up where we left off. : )

Her medical condition is very troubling. On Wednesday she had been carrying a load of heavy wood on her head and began leaking what she though was amniotic fluid that day as well has having abdominal and lower back cramps. The leaking continued but slowed on Thursday and she arrived in our clinic on Friday after an hour's walk--a long walk is the last thing a woman who is threatening to miscarry needs--but here it is almost completely unavoidable unless the patient has connections with owners of the few cars in town or can afford the equivalent of about $8 to hire a donkey cart--but few of the common people have money like that.

We assessed the fetus to be at seven months gestation and were able to find a strong fetal heart tone after a couple minutes of searching, as she is not carrying the fetus in the normal position. It was such a relief to be able to tell her we found the heartbeat. In the States we would have the ability to test the fluid leakage to see if it is indeed amniotic fluid. If it is--she is at high risk for infection and very high risk of preterm labor and miscarriage. In the States an infant born at this time would be kept in the newborn ICU for several weeks and most likely live, but there is not such ability to care for such a premature baby here.

If I were a physician or a midwife I would have done a vaginal exam to check to see if her cervix was still closed. I may have been able to ascertain this myself, but in the event that it isn't and she really is leaking amniotic fluid, I could have put her and the fetus at greater risk.

She has been having pain with urination so I'm hopeful that the leaking was not amniotic fluid but a complication of a bladder infection. We prescribed an antibiotic for an infection and I put her on bed rest for three days instructing her that someone else MUST do all the water and wood fetching, cooking and caring for the children. The people here live in community. there are no families who work or eat alone so there will be others to help her. However, there is enough work for all 8-10 women in each little community of tukuls so her work will be missed. Oh how I pray her little one is OK. She has three living children and has not had any miscarriages--which is quite rare here. Most women have had at least one or two. I hope she does not have to experience that.

If she does have a miscarriage she probably will not seek medical care, although I told her to come back to the clinic if the leaking continues or she begins to bleed. The women here are accustomed to handling such problems on their own at home and are expected to recover quickly both physically and emotionally. Oh how I wish I knew more about women's health. We have a mid-wife joining our team later this year. We are so grateful. I hope to learn much from her!

Please pray for Roda and her unborn baby.

Where women have few rights

2011-04-23T21:59:00.005+03:00

This afternoon I went off happily to visit some Maaban ladies with my fellow missionary, Karissa, who is very good with the Maaban language. Our lighthearted afternoon quickly became sad. We arrived at our friend Ula's compound to find her laying on a cot outside her home. She did not greet us with her usual enthusiasm and we could tell something was wrong.

She told us that her husband decided to take a second wife. When she told him she didn't agree to it he began to beat her. She has a broken hand and a painful, still swollen eye and temple from where he struck her with a handmade weapon called a bwam about two weeks ago.

He has already built a house on their property for the new wife. Ula said the woman came briefly and left. She said if she comes and remains that she, Ula, will leave their husband. Ula is one of the strongest and most respected women I know in Maaban County. Realizing how badly she is being treated--and knowing we nor she can do anything about it--is heartbreaking, frustrating and despairing. Women have very few rights in this culture. The men have a right to beat them but are not allowed to kill them without consequences. They are free as far as culture is concerned to practice polygamy.

Karissa and I prayed with her, tried to express our care and support for her and left in tears. As we walked home deep sobs wracked my body. There is such a helplessness in us when we see our people suffering, often as a result of someone elses greed, pride, anger or lust. I do not understand this culture yet.

Please pray for Ula as she decides what to do. In other marriages in this tribe I've heard that the woman must bear with the choice of the husband and even though the women in the village don't approve of polygamy, they won't speak up in defence of the first wife. They do not believe it is their right or the right of the first wife to resist the humiliating, frustrating and non-Biblical practice of polygamy. They stay silent (at least officially) and let the men do what they do--they are the ones with the rights and the power. For Ula to "leave" him is a very big step and a loud statement in this culture. I don't know what to think, but my heart aches.

I'm home!

2011-04-18T20:55:00.003+03:00

Today I arrived back in hot, dusty Doro after four months and three days of uncertainly. It is wonderful to be back and I feel giddy about seeing my Maaban friends and co-workers, but at the same time, the knowledge that the next month is going to very busy and most likely stressful, dampens my enthusiasm down to brimming excitement and ridiculously wide smiling every time I see an old friend and share a long, pumping handshake or hug with them.

Within two hours of our rather bumpy dirt airstrip landing I found myself at the clinic assessing a burn patient. Fortunately, though the burns were significant and painful, she will be ok. The race to the clinic following the call of "you have an emergency patient", with the unknown condition of the patient waiting for us had me nervously telling a co-worker "I'm not in medical mode yet!" Thankfully I found that my needed "medical mode" kicked in when I arrived. It was super to be back and to be helping a person in need. Love it! So thankful to God for this opportunity to serve Him.

Playing the tourist

2011-04-14T00:03:00.004+03:00

I had an opportunity to visit a giraffe refuge in Kenya in March--and feed the giraffes from my hand! Nice!

HIV/AIDS in Sudan

2011-04-04T23:44:00.005+03:00

Before coming to Sudan I was told the number of people infected with HIV was low due to them being relatively shut off to the rest of the world. I have found that not to be quite true.

Working with a midwife in the Martha clinic in Yei we sent each pregnant woman to be tested for and counseled about HIV/AIDS. For six weeks the department that does the testing did not have any HIV tests, but finally this past week they did. On Monday we did 59 antenatal assessments. Two of the women tested positive for HIV. Now that isn't like South Africa or Malawi--but I would still call that a high infection rate. How very sad.

Pictured above is the building at the local hospital in Yei where they are referred for treatment with Anti-retrovirals or ART.

the Gospel?

2011-03-20T22:30:00.004+03:00

Today I heard a sermon in English in South Sudan. I was greatly anticipating being able to understand the messages here in Yei where some of the churches have both worship and preaching primarily in English--but the more I heard, the more discouraged I became about the "Gospel" that is preached here. The message was full of "do this" and "don't do to that"--rules, regulations, consequences, etc. There was little to nothing said about the grace of God, of life in the Spirit, about serving God out of joy in your relationships with Him, about life in Christ...Is this what "faith" is to the typical Christian in South Sudan. Oh I hope not! This is not the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Knowledge is Power

2011-02-15T21:57:00.004+03:00

There is a common belief in many African cultures that Knowledge is Power. I agree with this idea. What I disagree with is that many seem to think that they have more power if they keep it to themselves instead of spreading the knowledge.

Yesterday and today I've witnessed the interest and enthusiasm of two groups of older women who are learning from a missionary nurse about HIV/AIDS. The role of these elder women in the church is to mentor the younger women spiritually and morally. Now, with the education that my friend Tabitha is helping provide--they are being equipped to teach the younger women about various health topics relevant to their lives. Oh, I hope they will!!!

After today's session Tabitha pointed out to me what I have been witnessing since arriving in Sudan. The typical Sudanese person will give you the shirt off their back, the best of their small amount of food, the last of their tea, coffee, and sugar and the handmade jewelry that they have labored over for days. They are incredibly generous and hospitable. However...

I wish we could see such an enthusiasm in them to share the knowledge that they possess... as well as their worldly possessions and the last of their tea and coffee.

Westerners have much to learn from Sudanese generosity, myself included. I love the teacher role. Though I'm uncomfortable in front of a group--if I'm passionate enough about the subject--I can forget my discomfort in the joy of sharing the knowledge I've been blessed with. I'm not so generous with my possessions though, even in Sudan where I have much less in my tukul than I did in my flat in the US--I am not giving much away. Hmm. I need to consider that. Neither of us is right.

Communication

2011-01-30T00:53:00.004+03:00

Here in Nairobi I'm "speaking" five languages:

There is my English of course, spoken with almost everyone except the beggars who seem not to know anything more than simple greetings in English. They have the least education of anyone in the city I have met. I guess that makes sense...

There is the Arabic I'm studying in a classroom setting nine hours a week. Our instructor has his own ideas of what we should learn so to this point we aren't really learning much that will be practical when we get back to the bush.

There is Maaban, the heart language of my tribe in Sudan, that I am learning with a tutor two hours a week and practicing some on the weekends in the homes of Sudanese refugees.

There is Ki-Swahili, the heart language of many in Nairobi , used in greetings and when speaking to the uneducated beggars. I know only a few phrases, but it clearly touches the people that I'm trying. They are delighted and very encouraging even when I stumble over the meanings and butcher the pronunciation.

And then a little Spanish comes out sometimes when I'm searching for the correct word in Arabic or Maaban...

In Sudan, nine times out of ten a translator is available to help me with work in the clinic and visiting in homes, but communication with a translator pales in comparison to sharing a one-on-one conversation. A friendship formed through a translator has a wall, a secondhand understanding. There is always the concern that something is lost in translation. It is not personal, not intimate, not adequate for what my heart desires to build with the Maaban women. Sometimes while in Doro I want to cry over the inability to really "talk" and listen to them.

Here in Africa, especially in Sudan, the term language barrier has a far deeper meaning than it did when I lived in the States. Yet even without words, we share a common humanity and much can be communicated without words. Smiles and handshakes transcend cultures. Easily read is the look on a mother's face when her baby smiles at her, the hungry expression on the face of a dirty child when she begs on the street, the pain in the posture of an elderly person walking stooped over, the glow of relief on the family's face when a child wakes up from a cerebral malaria coma, the happy embarrassment on the face of a teen girl when she is asked about her new husband, etc. I hope I become more adept with the non-verbals--both interpreting them and communicating them--while I still do not know well the words to say.

Referendum

2011-01-09T22:21:00.001+03:00

Today was a historic day in Sudan. Southern Sudanese went to the polls to vote for unity or secession from the North. Personally all the people I know are voting for secession, in fact some sources say 99% of Southerners are expected to vote for independence. I’m sitting watching the news coverage in the "safety" of Nairobi, Kenya, right now. The excitement and hope of the Southerners is contagious, but my concern is for what this means for the people in the every day sense. The south is not equipped to educate it’s people. Schools, medical facilities, transportation, government, etc. are inadequate to provide for the people. God knows.

Sudanese Refugees in Kenya

2011-01-02T21:28:00.011+03:00

Karissa on the street in Gethri. This slum provides much better living conditions than the first one I visited.

Views in the slum.

The Gethri church of displaced Sudanese in the heart of a Nairobi, Kenya slum.

Explaning the ballot and the correct way to place the thumb print so not to have ones vote considered invalid.

A Day with Sudanese Refugees in Kenya

2011-01-02T21:28:00.009+03:00

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend a Sudanese worship service in the slum of Gethrie. This church is made up of several Sudanese believers who made their way to Kenya during the last war in Sudan escaping the danger and devastation of Southern Sudan. They now live a very different existence than they did in Sudan. Life is hard, but here they have many more opportunities for education and occupation than in the villages of Sudan.

The church is made up of several different tribes and I was thrilled to recognize immediately some people from the Maaban tribe I work with. Their bone structure is distinctive and beautiful. My heart was warmed as they sang familiar songs in Arabic and Maaban.

The service began about 10am and we left at 2:45 with it still going. They sang for about 1 1/2 hours and then two different people gave messages. Both brought much political content into their messages as the historic Referendum begins in just seven days. They encouraged their people to vote. Nairobi will have two poling locations for this to occur for the thousands of Sudanese refugees who have made their home here. We had the opportunity to look at a sample ballot. There is just once question--unity or secession. The people will dip their finger and place it next to the word which they believe will bring the most hope for them. For the illiterate majority there are two pictures. One is of two clasped hands and the other is one palm facing outward. Two hands-unity with the North. One hand--secession. In church they said the one hand with palm facing outward is waving "bye-bye" to the North.

Getting there from my flat involved four city buses--a truly immersed cultural experience and miles of walking. On the way I passed thousands of people, many with the pain of a difficult life written on their faces. City life is still overwhelming to me following months of living in the bush, but I do see there is much to learn, to understand the people for whom this teaming city is home, to give to those in need and to share a smile and a gentle encouragement with a touch to the beggars arms. This was my second slum to spend time in and again I was struck by how monochromatic the surroundings are--shades of gray. I want to know their stories. I am certain they are not without color.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." Leo Buscaglia

Fat babies and losses

2010-12-11T23:19:00.006+03:00

Today I took pleasure in holding a roly poly fat baby in a nearby village. Too often the babies and children I have contact with are thin and wan. It is encouraging to see the occasional plump, healthy one. Little Geena was young enough not to realize she was being held by a stranger who was not lactating. She nuzzled around on my chest and shoulder soiling my shirt but bringing me the joy of clasping warm, soft, healthy skin and fat, not minding the sweat forming between her bare bottom and my arm. I enjoyed the smiles and wonder of the other children as they stroked my other arms, gaining courage to touch me freely since I was holding one of their own. The pleasure of this village visit is in stark contrast to some tragedies in my work this month.

Since I've been in Sudan I've nursed, agonized and prayed over several children who I thought might die, most of which God graciously spared and others the parents took home to die so I did not witness when their bodies could maintain life no longer. However, we recently lost two young girls while still in our care.

One of them was Anni. This weak and emaciated child came to us about two months ago malnourished and suffering with malaria. We treated her at the clinic and then admitted her to our nutrition program where she stayed four days, getting medications and special food every three hours--reintroducing nourishment into her body. She responded well to treatment, began gaining weight and was discharged home. Two weeks ago her mother returned with her from their distant village where she had lost the weight she gained plus some, was severely dehydrated and malnourished again and acquired a severe eye infection causing loss of vision in the affected eye. Her mother reported she had not had the strength to walk for some weeks. Sores had formed over her bony hips where the pressure of her body pressing into the bed had cut off blood supply to the tissues. It is difficult to understand why they waited so long to bring her back for help, but this is common in Sudan.

I administered IV fluids and medications for three days and she then was transferred again to our nutrition program. She ate the specialized food and continued the medications, but this time she did not respond to treatment. Too late our visiting doctor recognized she had spinal tuberculosis. We began arranging for her transport to Kurmuk--the nearest town that can initiate TB treatment. She died during the night before the day of travel. We heard dogs begin howling that night but did not at the time realize the cause--the wailing grief of her mother.

Joye was the other child who died at our clinic. She suffered an acute case of cerebral malaria coupled with severe pneumonia. According to her father she had only been sick for two days. They brought her to us when she began having seizures and lost consciousness. We started an IV and administered fluids and Quinine as well as gave her in injection of Artemether to attack the malaria in two different ways. I gave her a strong antibiotic through the IV and administered concentrated oxygen though a machine running on the generator. We prayed for her but tried to prepare the family for the possibility that she would not survive. She had Chain-Stokes respirations and her oxygen saturation hovered in the 60s and 70s in spite of the oxygen we gave her. Her brain and organs were not working at full capacity, lacking oxygen due to the infection in her lungs and the electrolyte problems caused by the cerebral malaria. After an hour or so of IV fluids and medications she began having seizure activity and so we administered Diazapam. To no avail, she never regained consciousness and died within a few hours of reaching our clinic.

Tears coursed down my face as I watched her parents and auntie mourn. Death here is no stranger and the wailing grief is becoming familiar to me. The cries morph into groans and wails, to mournful songs to sobs and back to wails again. The loved one is covered and uncovered, the hands and arms rearranged and caressed and then re-covered and caressed through the cloth and then she is uncovered again for more rearranging. Her name is repeated in the mourning phrases and songs. Perfume was poured on her body and she was wrapped in two white blankets someone thoughtfully provided. I sat quietly observing all this, praying for comfort for her parents (who lost a son last year) and constantly wishing things could have been different.

The fragility of life is so obvious here and from my relatively new experience and observation, the people do not fight as hard for life as I expect them too--perhaps it is because death is so common. I'm so grateful to have been involved in improving the health of over two thousand people in my six months in Sudan, but the helpless feeling of this double loss makes me question how effective we are. It is so hard to lose a child.
This little one is Anni. Dr Rob did a ultrasound on her to get more clues on her condition. She protested weakly and ineffectively. We were encouraged when she recieved the diagnosis of tuburculosis which explained her weight loss in spite of good nutritional intake in our nutrition program. We gained hope because though our clinic is not equipped to treat TB--we knew what she needed and where to send her. If only we had discovered the TB sooner...

(It seems cruel sometimes to take photographs when patients are so ill, so I do not have photos of some of our most desperately ill patients, including Joye.)

Uncertainty

2010-12-05T21:26:00.004+03:00

Poster encouraging villagers to register so that they can vote in the upcoming Referendum.

Uncertainty saturates everything we see, hear and do here in Doro. Today is the Global Day of Prayer for Sudan. In January Southerners will vote for secession or unity with the North. Some people are sure there will be war, we try to remain optimistic, calling on God to save our people and finally provide them with lives free of a degree of suffering it is difficult for Westerners to comprehend.

We long to know what the future holds for our dear Mabaan friends.

Timing

2010-11-24T19:45:00.003+03:00

Today I am thankful that a AIM plane and pilot were present in Doro! A woman came to us in labor with her seventh child--but this one was in the wrong position for delivery (for you medical people--the baby was in face presentation--mouth first to be exact). The timing worked out beautifully for me to start and IV on her and for the rest of the medical team to get her on the flight and take her to the nearest hospital for an emergency Cesarean section.
A healthy little boy was born with the aid of Samaritan's Purse physician and nurses in Kurmuk, a town several hours away by car--but only 30 minutes or so by plane. Woo Hoo! This was the first pregnant women that we referred for a c-section and probably the only one whose child could be saved by the surgery. We are thankful. An AIM plane has only been on the ground here in Doro overnight perhaps a dozen times in my seven months. God's timing. He has plans for that little baby boy.

Life in Gasmalla

2010-11-22T20:31:00.004+03:00

Life has a special rhythm in Gasmalla a village about a two hour walk from Doro. On my second weekend trip there I was asked to make a detour into a village where an older woman had been sick for five days. I found an elderly woman with sunken eyes, wrinkled, tenting skin and extreme weakness laying on a mat on the ground, moaning "wor-re i, wor-re i". This translates to "body bad". They often say this when they are sick or in pain.
Literally 25-30 village men, women and children (as well as some goats, dogs and chickens) gathered around me while I assessed her condition and made my recommendations. I was not "working" on this trip so I had no medications with me--and certainly did not have an IV set and IV fluids to give her--which was what she really needed. For several minutes I talked with she and her family members to impress upon them the seriousness of her condition and stress that she could die at any time if she did not get fluids into her body--she had been vomiting all intake and also having diarrhea for five days. Frankly I was surprised she has survived to that point. She did not want to be carried into town--a 2 hour walk-- for treatment. I felt that she had given up. The family said they would decide what to do with her after I left. That was frustrating--but that might just be me projecting my Western ideals on a very different culture. You see, this condition should not kill a person. Dehydration is very treatable with relatively little trouble or expense. However, in Africa, many, many thousands die each month because of dehydration from vomiting and or diarrhea. This is a difficult reality to accept.
Leaving her I went to another nearby village to check on Jadin, the father of Joseph, one of our Water Project employees. He has been mostly bedridden for a few months due to severe back pain. He also suffers from mal-nutrition and probable depression. The rainy season prevented Joseph from hiring a donkey cart to bring him into the clinic to get medical care and he is too weak to walk. Without diagnostics beyond my physical assessment it was impossible to be certain of the problem, maybe sciatica, maybe compressed or bulging discs, maybe TB of the spine, etc. However, later that weekend I gave him some ibuprofen to take every eight hours for two days to see if it would make a difference.

Three days later I learned that he was up and walking more than he had in months. Amazing what a simple OTC medication can do for someone who has taken little to no medications in his life. When a person is not accustomed to medications--they work more strongly in that person. For Jadin, it was kind of like getting his life back. Difficulty, pain, poverty, death, hunger and loss are such a part of life that in my limited understanding of the life here, it seems to me that they have low expectations and do not "fight" for easier or longer lives or better quality. I'm sure I'll understand this attitude much better and even find I was completely off possibly when I've been here much longer and understand the culture better.

Loss

2010-11-08T23:05:00.002+03:00

My dear friend Janet died today. I am bereft. She was possibly the most loving, encouraging and optimistic person I have ever known.

Reality Check

2010-11-08T16:36:00.006+03:00

Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to tour the new UN compound about 1 kilometer from my home. I found this orderly compound surrounded by a strange thick fence. I asked what the fence was for and the engineer told me it is to stop bullets. Bam! Talk about a reality check!

Most days I'm in denial about the coming Referendum. It is unbearable to think about the uncertain future of my friends and co-workers for more than a couple of minutes. My brain and my heart start to hurt. How I pray that God maintains peace in Sudan in spite of the many tenuous factors!

About two months ago the UN brought in engineers and began building up this compound for use during and following the referendum for their 'observer' staff, I think another name for them is UN peace-keepers.

(Unable to get photos to load at this time--sorry!)

Baby in the bush!

2010-10-30T11:18:00.007+03:00

I'm getting a new perspective on births. Here the typical woman delivers alone at home or with some family members and a traditional birth attendant. It is a non-event unless something goes wrong. It is kind of funny how worked up I get when assisting with a birth considering that millions of women deliver by themselves in Africa and the babies and mothers are usually just fine.

This little guy was delivered in the dirt outside the clinic. I allowed the mother to go outside because she thought she was going to have a bowel movement. Just minutes before I had checked her progress and found the head not engaged in the pelvis so I thought there was plenty of time. I learned my lesson... One push and the little guy was out. Oh, maybe I should explain that "bathrooms" do not exist here. When the people need to relieve their bladder or bowels they just walk a little way into the bush and take care of business.

The baby is well. I cleaned up the mother and another missionary cleaned up the boy and they were on their way home within an hour. No laying around for these women. They usually are walking home within an hour or two of delivery. Without a doubt the Maaban women are some of the strongest and more resilient people I have ever known. Inspiring.

Death in the SIM Sudan team

2010-10-25T21:14:00.003+03:00

With great sadness I share with you that today we lost Yacob, a missionary on our SIM Sudan Yabus team. The Yabus team is remote in the mountains on the Sudan/Ethiopian border about a one day walk from Doro. It is believed he died of cerebral malaria after a short, intense illness. He is survived by his wife Tabarek and his mother in Ethiopia. Please pray for God's glory to be reveiled as people look back at his service to God and mourn his death.

Pastor Bulis

2010-10-20T23:18:00.003+03:00

Pastor Bulis is a recent addition to our SIM Sudan health project team. I think he makes more of a difference than any of us--ministering to the spirits of our patients.

He speaks to the waiting crowd each morning as we prepare to begin seeing patients. He sometimes shares from his heart and sometimes using a picture book to tell Bible stories. During the remainder of the clinic day he visits with individual patients and families who are very sick, have had to return to the clinic multiple times, have STIs and need counseling, etc. He will even walk to homes of patients who need follow-up care and remind them to come to see us. He sits with and visits families who have had deaths. He has a heart of gold: gentle, humble, patient, loving, Godly, wise and faithful. I'm so thankful he has been added to our team. He has the time and the freedom to do more of the kind of ministry that we nurse missionaries dream of having some day.

Babies!

2010-10-07T12:25:00.005+03:00

We have had two babies born in the past week! Babies seem to come in clusters with sometimes weeks between without us helping with deliveries.

The babies this week were both big, slow moving boys and petite mothers. As a rule, the women do not come to us for delivery unless they are having trouble. The most common reason they come to us is when they have labored for a day or two (or five) at home (sometimes alone, sometimes with a family member, sometimes with a traditional birth attendant) and the baby still hasn't come. I'm amazed at home many babies are born healthy in harsh home conditions and the mother delivering alone. Would you believe they cut the cord with a piece of sharp grass!?!? I said grass, not glass.

In the clinic during long days and nights of attending birthing mothers I'm learning:

Every delivery is different,
Mabaan women are incredibly stoic through pain,
Don't make assumptions,
Small women with poor nutrition can have very large babies,
To Pray and Encourage!

Yaya

2010-10-05T21:41:00.004+03:00

Tonight I was called to the clinic for Yaya, a woman in her 30s who had just been beaten by her inebriated soldier husband. She has a two inch puncture wound on her back near her spine and bruised internal organs. The weapon he used is called a buang. It has a blunt end and a sharp end. He used the blunt end on her abdomen and the sharp end on her back. Fortunately it just missed her spine and her abdomen, though tender, did not show signs of internal bleeding.

When I received the emergency call I did not know what I would face and I prayed for wisdom and for God's love to show through me. I had a greater calm when assessing and treating Yaya than I usually have when working with emergency patients. I totally give God the credit for that.

When I had cleaned her wound, put on a dressing, given her pain medication and a tetanus vaccination I counseled her a bit and prayed with her. She was accompanied by the chief of the nearby large village of Bunj. He stayed quiet but was very attentive to what I did with her and what I told her. From his clothing, a typical jalabia, I believe he is of the Islamic faith.

I'm told that people go to jail for life if they kill someone--from the unspokens I sensed that they felt it was attempted murder.

Edited 11/5/10 Yaya returned to the clinic this week due to continued pain at the trauma site. I'm concerned that she will always experience pain there since it has been a month since the injury and further healing doesn't seem likely. There is a small amount of swelling. She looks well and like her spirit is much lighter than the other times I cared for her. The translators were busy so I didn't question her at length about how things are going at home. I pray that her husband has had a change of heart. Since she did not die he was released from jail and returned home. My heart aches for so many families suffering due to the husbands turning to alcohol to dull their pain. The Mabaan people have deep emotional wounds following the decades of war and devastation. Drinking homemade "local wine" is a favorite sedative from the pain, especially for soldiers who I suspect have many self inflicted emotional wounds to go with those forced upon them by the war events.

Launching a new clinic

2010-09-30T22:43:00.004+03:00

Today we celebrated the independence of one of our Community Health Workers who is leaving us to start a satellite clinic in Khourtembak, a village about eight hours walk away. This will provide health care for people in that area who will no longer have to walk so many hours to get medical care. This is so exciting! It is one of the long term goals our team has had since opening the primary health care clinic in 2008.

Masir is the CHW who has come so far and received the blessing today to move out on his own. We will miss him but praise God that the time has finally arrived for him to branch out. (He is pictured second from the right on the front row.)

In my weaknesses

2010-09-26T23:09:00.002+03:00

Our team devotional tonight was on God's use of Moses, a person with issues and human weaknesses-- in His plan of redemption. We considered our own callings to the ministry in Sudan and I thought, as many times before, that I'm not worthy of the calling but am so grateful God uses flawed people--like Moses, David, Samson, Peter and Paul. It is not because of my own merit that God brought me here, but because He can replace my sinful nature with His character and show Himself to the world though those of us He is sanctifying. In spite of myself, my sin, my weaknesses, my fears and my failures, God has given me a role in His plan of redemption. Wow!

Acts 4:13 "Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled, and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus."

Flooding in Maaban County

2010-09-19T22:08:00.005+03:00

Rains in Ethiopia have caused the Yabus River flowing into South Sudan to pass outside its boundaries and wreck havoc on the lives of the Maaban people in Doro and surrounding villages. Flooding began early in September but has grown much worse in the past week, overtaking most of the crops and hundreds of homes in its path. Thank you for praying for the Maaban people as they face yet another hardship in three decades of tragedies and difficulties.

flooding in Doro and surrounding villages and town

2010-09-16T21:46:00.003+03:00

Please pray for Doro and Bunj residents and surrounding villages. Flooding in Ethiopia has made it's way to our area via the Yabus river which has overrun it's banks and flooded large areas of Maaban County. Many houses and crops are underwater. The people are spending long hours standing and even diving in the water to try to salvage their crops of corn, pumpkins and sorghum.

A lesson being learned

2010-08-28T00:38:00.005+03:00

A couple of weeks ago we had an adult male soldier brought to us in the middle of the night experiencing multiple seizures. I started an IV on him and was able to get his seizures to stop with medication. Like many of the soldiers in the area he drinks a lot of alcohol/homemade wine and we were not sure how much of his sickness was related to alcohol and how much was an acute illness brought on by cerebral malaria or some other disease.

The following morning he still had an altered mental status and was unable to verbalize when we asked him questions. In his confused and partially conscious state he had soiled his shorts and so I put on gloves and began cleaning him up. (By this time some fellow soldiers arrived and told us that they didn't know much about him except that he drank all the time.) At one point when I was cleaning the stool out of his shorts I began to feel resentful of the need to clean up after a grown man because of poor choices he made. As soon as the resentful thought came to me God filled me with compassion for the man and tears filled my eyes. I had a spirit initiated attitude change and began thinking about how Jesus would have cleaned his shorts and sat with him--or healed him and taught him about Himself.

As I continued caring for the man, I served God and him with a change of heart. It took conviction for me to serve with humility and compassion; I'm so grateful for the work of the Holy Spirit in my life that day. I need the work of the Spirit daily.

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73;25-26

reflecting beneath the neem tree

2010-08-25T23:42:00.007+03:00

I've become accustomed to showering by moonlight. It's quite nice--except for the mosquitoes who also like being active at that time of night. There is something special about the open sky above me as the bucket nozzle dribbles down cool water on me and washes away the day's grime, sweat and clinic germs. This is one of the rare times of day when I'm truly alone and is a great time to think. Sometimes I sing, sometimes I listen to the conversations and life going on on the other side of the grass shower enclosure, sometimes I think about what God is doing here in the bush and what I hope He'll do, what He might want me to do differently and how in my frailty sometimes I feel like I've really messed up.

Tonight the moon is particularly striking. I so appreciate the beauty around me here in Sudan. The Arkansas sky pales in comparison to the Sudan sky even though we cannot see the horizon for the overgrowth of bush in the rainy season. God touches my heart with His beauty when the circumstances around me are heartbreaking. I am thankful.

Gullaweing meeting

2010-08-22T22:50:00.008+03:00

Today I met this young lady and was struck by the giant cultural and economic divide in our lives. I was born in a hospital with a low mortality rate for infants and a team of people on hand to provide assistance should anything go wrong with my delivery. She was born in a mud hut in a country with a mortality rate where 1 in 4 children die before reaching the age of five.

I attended 13 years of free public education as a child and six years of college courses as an adult. She will probably not attend more than two or three years of primary school--which in Doro/Gullaweing means a class of many children with one teacher meeting under a tree with few, if any, teaching materials.

I always had plenty to eat, toys to play with and a variety of clothes and shoes to wear. She probably has 3-4 clothing items and will wear them until they are tattered. She plays with sticks, rocks and bits of rubbish when not helping with her younger siblings.

I have been treated with respect in my culture as a female. She will grow up with few social rights and little choice as to whether she marries or not or whether her husband will also have other wives.

She will likely remain mostly illiterate for life. I have worked and received fair pay at a number of companies who were grateful to have me as an employee. She will work harder than I ever have and her pay will be that her children have sorghum porridge to eat once or twice a day on most days.

I have traveled to three continents. She may never see Ethiopia which is less than 100 miles away. I am a citizen of a strong country providing freedom and countless opportunities. She has never known peace in her short life and if history repeats itself, may always live in the shadow of war.

I have owned a car since the age of 18 and enjoy the comfort of a solid roof over my head (at least while in the US). She may ride in a car only a dozen or so times in her life, at the charity of someone she doesn't know well and sleeps on the ground on a mat in a mud hut.

I enjoy a diet including a variety of foods, flavors and nutrients. She eats sorghum porridge, greens that grow wild and occasionally will be able to have maize and mango in their season. She will daily carry many kilograms of weight on her head as she provides food and water for her family until she is too old to walk.

I own electronics that she would not even begin to understand.

I was raised in a family where I was taught the truth of creation, the fall of mankind and the death of a perfect Savior for my redemption. She lives in a village that is overshadowed by spiritual darkness. Her mother fears what evil spirits might do to them.

However--this day--our worlds collided. She sat beside me on a log and we listened together to a story in her heart language about a powerful God who created us and cares about us. Maybe God will pull this child out of darkness and into His marvelous light--and perhaps He'll allow some of His light to shine out of me into her life in the coming years as I live on the edge of her world.

Vicki teaches a Bible lesson in Maaban at the girl's fledgling church in Gullaweing.

Esther

2010-08-15T22:33:00.008+03:00

Esther will be the little one I always remember distinctly in my beginning weeks in Doro.

The beautiful little three year old came to us in respiratory distress, with sepsis, malaria, severe anemia and with a illeus (bowels not working) complicated by malnutrition. She weighed about 10 kgs and looked skeletal except for her badly swollen abdomen. For three days we worked with her, providing various medications, concentrated oxygen, prayers and tried to keep her comfortable.

On her second evening in the clinic the mother announced that she was going to leave with her because she was afraid of sleeping at the clinic alone with only a guard outside. She referenced her fear of the evil spirits. I promised to stay with her so that she would not be alone with the child but about the time darkness arrived two of the mother's acquaintances arrived from the closest town and said they would stay with her. They grew agitated when they realized none of them had a flashlight and said they would leave. I gave them my solar lantern to use and promised to return to check on them a couple of times during the night.

Esther made it through the night and the following day our visiting doctor decided to change the treatment plan as she was still spiking fevers up to 103 regardless of the broad spectrum antibiotics we were giving her through an IV and the malaria treatment injections she was getting daily. My heart gained some hope with the new treatment plan, so with the interpreter I explained it to the mother and began implementing it, giving new injections of differing antibiotics.

About two hours later Esther's father arrived for the first time since her admission. Together he and the mother informed us they were ready to take her home. We explained again the new treatment plan and how her weakened condition would probably not survive a long walk to their village, even though she would be carried. We also explained as gently as we could that without the IV fluid and medications she would most likely not live long at home.

I realize now that they already knew this, but had made the decision to take her home and let her die. We had one of our community health workers share the Gospel with the mother and helped her gather her things for departure. I hung back as my co-workers helped her pack as I had by this time lost my composure and was hoping only to keep my sobs quiet, as I could not stop them from racking my body.

As the mother left I walked out with her. She looked at me and said something to the effect that she wanted to sleep at home but would consider bringing Esther back the following day for more treatment. I believe she was actually trying to comfort me in my distress. She herself was stoic.

I try to understand the mentality of the people here who are so accustomed to pain, death, hunger and need that another death in their family causes them to think more of the kawaja's (white foreigner's) pain than their own suffering.

The sad side of medical missions

2010-08-12T22:53:00.008+03:00

Today we lost two patients, a newborn who required surgery immediately following birth (a surgery we are not equipped or staffed to perform) and an older man with pneumonia who was brought for help too late for the medications to have time to be effective. This was one of those difficult days that I thought about months ago--knowing I'd be emotional with losses. Tonight their families grieve and I ponder their unnecessary deaths.

This newborn had Gastroschisis.

The surgical team: Julie held "retractors" and Dr Rob, over two patient hours, pushed the intestines back into the abdominal cavity through the small hole in the abdominal wall that had allowed them to come out in utero. I decompressed the badly swollen bowel by providing suction through a naso-gastric tube with a syringe attached to it. Kurase (the clinic guard) heated water in a tea kettle to warm clothes to keep the infant from becoming too chilled from the exposure. Masir, (community health care worker) brought supplies to us as we needed them and provided translation to the family who was standing around us watching the procedure.

This is the infant just after Dr Rob was able to get the digestive system pushed back through the small hole in his abdomen. The hemostats kept the intestines from coming out again until it was appropriate for the hole to be sutured closed.

This "incubator" made of a plastic crate and bottles full of hot water under blankets kept the newborn warm enough to survive the night while we prayed for God to wake up the too quiet digestive system so that he could live.

The following morning his mother was able to hold him and breast feed him, but he died in the afternoon. In a hospital setting his chances of surviving this congenital defect would have been excellent, but we do not have the capabilities of providing the extent and quality of care that he needed. We take comfort in the fact that the new parents were able to hold the infant for several hours as a "normal" baby. When he was born with the intestines outside his body, they were swollen to about 1/2 of his body mass and it was probably frightening to them.

He was born at home and brought to us immediately by the father and some other family members. The mother arrived about a half hour after them. She walked over an hour--after giving birth--to be with the newborn at the clinic. We pray that God used us to show His love and grace to the family.

Reality of Sudan uncertainty

2010-08-09T23:03:00.004+03:00

Today we received news that we must leave Sudan by mid-December of this year in preparation for the unknown effects of the Referendum—the vote in early January when South Sudanese people decide if they want to be a nation separate from the North. This vote comes at the end of a five year Comprehensive Peace Agreement between the North and South following 22 years of civil war. The voting and resulting decisions may result in trouble for all of Sudan, especially for those towns and villages along the border. Therefore all three SIM Sudan teams will be flying to Kenya in the middle of December for an unknown length of time to ensure safety should trouble arise.

My first thoughts were for the patients who need the medical treatment the clinic staff provides. With the nurses gone, the clinic will not be operating. The patients will have to walk for days to find medical care in some other village while we are gone. When walking long distances is not an option for some, what will happen to them? How many deaths of children will occur because there is no one to administer simple antibiotics to stop infection, Larimal for cerebral malaria and Metronidazole or Flagyl for bloody dysentery. I must learn to trust that God knows the needs and cares for the sick children even more than I do. He is the one who heals.

Our team will have to be out of Sudan for at least six weeks while awaiting the results of the vote and seeing if political changes are implemented. Six weeks is a long time and already I’m finding myself dreading the prospect, but I know I need to “learn to be content in whatever state (or country) I am in”.

Our logistics team is working on some continuing education opportunities for us that will make productive use of the time in Kenya. In addition to that I am going to request permission to spend a week or two as an intern at Kijabe Hospital, an African Inland Church project North of Nairobi, Kenya. There I can observe many births and become better trained to deliver babies in the Doro clinic.

I will keep you informed of the news in Sudan. I am sure the networks in Great Britain and the US will be covering it in January. Please pray for those in authority in both the North and South to seek God and honestly the desire the best for the Sudanese people. There are so many issues of power, land, oil, money, business opportunities, pride, racism, religion and painful, not so distant, memories of the wars and devastation this century. It is a complicated country.

The people I work with on a daily basis are not influential people or even well informed people—they are simply living in the bush, desiring to provide for their families and live a peaceful life. Overshadowing their lives is the concern about a return of war and the chaos that stole many from their circle of family and friends and displaced many more to refugee camps in Ethiopia. Please pray that God continues to keep the peace in Sudan.

"Tis better to suffer wrong than do it." --Thomas Fuller

Three weeks in Doroji!

2010-07-30T20:58:00.005+03:00

I arrived at my home in Doroji three weeks ago today. I am half way though orientation and have made friends of the other 14 missionaries on the Doro team. Life is very much like camping here. I take showers under the stars with a bucket fashioned with a nozzle like thing allowing me to open and close it to let out the water. I'll cook over a coal fire and sleep under a mosquito net in a building made of wood, mud and grasses. I have at least 10 itchy mosquito bites at any given time. Frogs, crickets and other unknown critters sing me to sleep and occasionally wake me during the night. Water comes from a borehole pumped by hand by a gentleman who uses a donkey cart to bring it to us. It is stored in barrels where we dip out what is needed to wash with, cook with, and drink (after it goes through a Katadine filter).

My main mode of transport is my feet, but I will be purchasing a bicycle in the near future for destinations further than 30 minutes away. My roommate and I have a solar system in our tukul that allows us to use a light bulb at night and has a converter to charge our laptops and cell phones. It is kind of funny that we have those electronic connections with the rest of the world when the remainder of our lives is very low tech.

Four or five days a week I work in the Memorial Heath Care Clinic and one day a week at the Nutrition Program for malnourished children. The clinic is a busy place where seven graduates from our Community Healthcare Worker training school do the patient check-in, initial assessment and make a potential diagnosis and treatment plans. Then one of the nurses reviews the patient history, physical exam and helps confirm the correct diagnosis and treatment plan. The interns are still in the learning process and need guidance, teaching and reminders. Critical thinking skills are not developed as a general rule in the primary school system in Sudan and an 8^th grade education is as far as most of these men were able to go before getting in the Community Healthcare worker program. The goal is to have them prepared to diagnose and treat the people independantly. We want to equip them to help their people and work ourselves out of a job.

Nurses currently do all the injections, IV medications, deliveries and invasive procedures. There is no doctor stationed on site so when we are stumped on a diagnosis or when the patient is not responding to treatment, we consult via telephone the SIM physician based in Kenya. I have much more to learn about conditions specific to Tropical Medicine and malnutrition. Please pray for retention of it.

The Maaban people often wait until they are really sick to seek treatment and having malaria makes them miserable enough to come and get help for that and the other conditions they often just endure. Others might not be that sick when they begin the trip to the clinic—but when it takes them 2-3 days to walk there or be carried there—they are very sick when they arrive. The average patient gets treatment for malaria in addition to another acute illness.

I have seen many conditions here that I have never seen in the US. Malaria, Leprosy,
Onchocerciasis, Lymphatic Filariasis (formerly called Elephantiasis--caused by a bite from a particular mosquito carrying a worm larva), malnutrition, amoeba, giardia, scabies, infestations of various intestinal worms, and dysentery. Most of these are caused by coming in contact with or ingesting contaminated water and from lack of sanitation and overcrowding. In our nutrition program we have children with some of these conditions and complicated by their malnourished state, they do not have the ability to compensate the way an adult does. The mortality rate for children under five is tragic. We seek to decrease unneccesary deaths by education for the adults and treatment of the children. I will write more about the Nutrition Program in another post. It is separate from the clinic and has a pace and personality of its own.

On weekends I've been visiting people in their homes, shopping in the nearby market, eating Maaban food and doing a bit of exploring with some of the other missionaries. Weekends have a very different pace than then clinic days. I'm thoroughly enjoying getting to know some women and children and learning the culture while forming friendships. As I am becoming more comfortable with the bush life and medical work-- I find I'm relaxing more and beginning to get the rhythm of the village. It is lovely.

Transplanted into this different world I've learned much about myself. I feel like my life back in the States is a lifetime and world away. I'm excited about how God will grow me and shape me to be more life Himself as I'm stretched by challenges and influenced the the acceptance and hospitality of the poorest of the poor in the Sudan bush.

"Even (our) most original thoughts or imaginative creations are indelibly shaped by a lifetime of encounters with artists, theologians, family and community. We do not interpret the world alone nor do we live without influencing one another profoundly." --unknown

Strange sites in Africa

2010-07-18T16:30:00.003+03:00

There are many interesting and some scary things to be seen here...

This guy was in front of the Malakal airport

Cracks in the ground in dry Malakal. It is rather precarious to walk here at night without a torch.

These guys are everywhere--Their work is to decrease the insect population.

This guy comes to your table when the food arrives. Most "restaurants" are open air.

Goats scale fences and sheep have long fat tails

Tiny bugs built this--they also tear down wooden houses bite by bite.

Lokichogio

2010-07-18T16:02:00.004+03:00

Carra and Griffens. Carra is the house girl for the SIM guesthouse in Northwestern Kenya. She is 13 and her father has begun looking for her husband. She wants to get some education and wait to marry.

Turkana lady at church in Lokichoggio

Beautiful Northern Kenyan children

The SIM guest house in Lokichoggio

The Mountains (I have forgotten their name) on the border of Kenya and Sudan

The Lokichoggio airstrip was used much by the military during the war in Sudan. There are multiple disabled planes like this one deteriorating and giving evidence of the trouble just five years ago. There are "No Cameras" signs around and it is illegal to take photos on the airport grounds. This was taken from just outside. : )

The road to the SIM property

Termites built this!

SIM guesthouse hostess and logistics person, Leah and her son, Griffins

Lokichoggio, or "Loki" is a portal for entry into Sudan/Kenya located close to the border. The primary tribe is the Turkana. Many NGOs, including SIM use the airstrip as they go into do relief, development and missionary work in Sudan. I've spent three nights at the guesthouse in Loki on my way into Sudan on two occasions. At this time there are no commercial flights into my part of Sudan so we overnight in Loki for a charter flight to take us to the Doro dirt airstrip just a short walk from our tukuls. Doro pics will be coming soon. I'm so busy with the work, learning, adjusting, etc. that I've not taken time to upload photos yet.

Free Baptist Church in Kayaba Slum

2010-07-17T01:57:00.002+03:00

Old blog post from June 2010

I had my first opportunity to worship with a Kenyan group of believers in June! I accompanied Debbie to Kayaba Slum, one of the largest slums in the world. Debbie is an inspiring lady who is actually one of my Doro team members, but currently stationed in Nairobi for health reasons. It was the most fascinating and pleasant day I spent in Nairobi during my time there in preparation for work in Sudan. I love to be with the people!

After the worship service (in which I had to speak three times--they believe in hearing from the guests) Debbie led a seminar on youth and children’s ministry. They then fed us chipati, ugali, beef and sukuma wiki. After the meal they turned to Debbie as an "elder" and asked many questions about leadership, conflict, sin and service in the church. It was absolutely amazing to be able to witness this part of the church leadership! It is very interesting the authority that they gave to Debbie as a missionary and a elder woman--she wasn't comfortable with the authority they gave her and referred them to the pastor at a few points. Wise lady.

Boy with umbilical hernia in Kayaba street

This is the view out one of the church doors--this young lady is talking on a mobile phone in the ditch

Children worship through dance at the beginning of the service.

What a cutie!

These girls loved seeing themselves on the camera

This is the water supply for residents of Kayaba

Alley near the church shelter

This was her face after she saw herself on my camera. Beautiful!

The effect of the lawa

2010-07-17T01:31:00.002+03:00

I have found a way to bring a smile to the face of the Sudane woman or man—put on a lawa. I noticed these lovely drapes as soon as I arrived. 95% of the women in the city wear one daily over their top and skirt. I learned that they originated with the Shilluck tribe and are now popular with all tribes in the area.

My friend Mary took me to this shop to purchase one when I told her I wanted one. The shopkeeper insisted I wear it out of the shop. Initially I was thinking—it’s 95 humid degrees and I have a 20 minute walk home—I don’t want to wear another piece of clothing! However, as soon as I walked out of the shop the reaction from the local people was immeadiate and positive. That first day on the way home I was greeted by about 500% more of the people than on my way to the shop! A few ladies and girls even stopped me in the street to shake my hand. Talk about a morale booster! I no longer cared that sweat was running everywhere on me. I had pleased the people I want so much to know and understand. The men also are complimentary and not in a leering way but in an appreciative, you look like a lady way. So great! Yes, I’m a people pleaser….

They are so appreciative of the ways that we adapt to their culture, from attempting to speak the language, to eating their kissera, coldera and shorr’ba, and most recently-- every time I wear my lawa. : ) I don't think they are worn in Doro. We'll see.

One month update

2010-07-12T21:59:00.002+03:00

July 11, 2010
Salaam a le kum! Peace be upon all of you!

I am filled with joy to be able to greet you from Sudan. Arabic lessons commenced in the city of Malakal three weeks ago with my tutor, John (name changed), a missionary from the Nuer tribe who speaks five languages. We are concentrating on greetings, common vocabulary, marketplace phrases, faith related terms and medical terminology. We meet for one hour daily M-F. At the time of my departure for Doro in about a week, I hope to be more comfortable in the marketplace, be able to conduct simple conversations, and know enough medical terms to accurately assess/question patients and to teach them a bit about their heath. I will build on it in Doro.

My heart is drawn to the Sudane ladies, almost none of whom speak English. For the first few days they did not seem interested in interacting with me and this weighed heavily on my heart. Then, to my delight, I had the opportunity to begin assisting one of the missionaries with her beginner English classes for women. As the ladies began to know me they warmed up a great deal and we enjoy fellowship several times a week with my limited Arabic and their limited English. They are less inclined to approach us as they have more a language barrier with us than do most of the men. In general, men are more educated and have more opportunities to learn in school and after school.

I am very grateful for the opportunity to befriend two groups of unreached refugee ladies from Darfur. One of the other missionaries here has continued a friendship with them begun by a previous Malakal missionary. We visit them in their work places and homes. They are wonderfully receptive of our desire to know them and amaze me with their hospitality, generosity and easy laughter. My heart is full as I sit with them, try to communicate, build friendships and share laughs. These women don’t have Jesus but have a lightness of heart in their difficult daily work and sparse living conditions. They make me think of the hope and perseverance in this Zimbabwean Proverb. “If you can walk, you can dance. If you can talk, you can sing.” I can learn much about attitude from them. My desire is for lasting friendships and for them to learn about my Savior from me. As I do what God has put on my heart --my spirit soars!

My temporary Malakal home is a safari style tent under a bamboo structure that gives insulation from the sun. However, it is rainy season and I have seen far more cloudy days than sunny ones. The weather at present is “cool” in the 90s. I have learned that lizards are my ally in the battle against bugs in my tent. Lizards are everywhere and usually at least a couple are in evidence on the walls inside my tent every time I enter. We’ve surprised each other a few times—me by their proximity and them by my involuntary shrieks. We are coming to an understanding and mutual appreciation for each other. I attract the bugs and they eat them.

My first two weeks in Africa had me bustling about the much Westernized city of Nairobi, Kenya. There I learned the rhythm of the city, received orientation to the Sudan team, and purchased and shipped supplies to Doro. The most challenging task was selecting enough non-perishable food items for three months. If I didn’t get enough supplies I’ll have a limited, but culturally appropriate, diet of rice, lentils, bread, tea, peanuts and pumpkins (available at the market near Doro) for the remaining days or weeks of my first term. I will return to Nairobi for two weeks every three months for rest, continuing education and supplies.

I am currently recovering from possible cases of typhoid fever and malaria which knocked me down quite hard earlier last week. Our team physician diagnosed me via satellite phone and I began treatment with three medications, TLC, many naps and much prayer. We will probably never know for certain what I contracted, but I am responding to treatment –and to prayer, and well on the way to recovery.

Praises:
o Safe arrival
o An excellent Arabic tutor
o Good communication with family back home
o My mother’s forward progress in gaining strength since heart surgery
o Relative good health while adjusting to food and a host of new insects, bacteria, protozoa and viruses.

Prayer requests:
o For quick acquisition and retention of Arabic
o For God to send more workers to Doro this fall/winter
o For heart connections with the Maaban women
o For team building with entire SIM Sudan team (about 40 people in three locations)

I apologize for the poor quality images. We have limited Internet bandwidth and cannot upload larger, non-compressed photos. In late September I’ll have unlimited Internet for a couple of weeks in Nairobi—will upload lots of photos to Facebook and try to catch up better with you then.

We practice Arabic with Mary in her tea shop. When she allows us to pay, it costs less than the equivalent of $.40 for a cup of tea or coffee. Yes, we are standing in the tea shop—put the coffee shop image far from your mind…

Some of the ladies we visit once or twice weekly. The lemon held by Hawa on the far right was just for laughs. These ladies are a remarkable testimony to the resilience of the human spirit. We laugh more when at their compound than we do on most other days.

My home with the lizards. We enjoy electricity from 5p to 5a so I get to sleep with a fan. : ) It reduces the sweating and drowns out some of the city sounds—donkeys hee-hawing, greetings between the many people walking at any time of day or night, rickshaws bouncing through the ruts, goats baaing, tea shops opening at 5:30, etc.

Angelina (one of the English students), Gail, me and Heather in our lawas while visiting Mary’s home (tea shop friend). A lawa is a Shilluk tribal draped cloth that most women wear when outside their homes, especially when visiting others homes.

Thank you for your prayers, financial support and encouragement, without which I would not have the privilege of being here. Please keep in touch with me via email. I love hearing from you and want to know how I may pray for you.

In His Grip,
Sheila

Daily life and images--Malakal Sudan

2010-07-12T19:10:00.123+03:00

Here is my typical day in Malakal, Sudan
7:00 Climb from under my mosquito net and prepare for the day

7:20 Water the garden

7:30 Meet with team for devotions

8:15 Cook semolina (I call it Malt-O-Meal) and eat breakfast

8:45 Quiet time

9:15 Ask the other missionaries questions

9:30 Go to the market for supplies for meals OR study Arabic. The marketplace is a great place to practice my Arabic.

11:45 Eat a snack and make juice drink for language tutor
12:00—1:00 Arabic tutoring session
1:15 Eat lunch
1:45--4:00 It depends on the day: do meal prep in solar cooker and/or go visit the Darfur ladies, wash clothing, make Arabic flashcards, download photos or read about communicable diseases
4:00--5:30 Assist with teaching ESL to group of 14 ladies
5:30-7:00 Cook dinner for the group (every other night)
7:00 Eat dinner and assist with clean-up
8:00-10:00 Go online via satellite and check email, blog updates, and do ministry “paper work”
10:00 Cold shower outside (usually I’m hot enough that I’m grateful it’s cold)
10:20 Climb back under the bed net and read more about communicable diseases until I get sleepy

It is going really well. I'm enjoying language study more than I expected. God is answering prayers! Language study along with helping with cooking and cleaning are really my only responsibilities for the four weeks I am in this city, but I'm filling my days with assisting with teaching English as a Second Language classes with other missionaries. I have also been visiting with some ladies from Darfur with another missionary. I’m intrigued by these new friendships. They are some of the most hospitable and outgoing people I have encountered here.

I'm so excited to be learning so much. I practice my Arabic in the market. We go almost daily because there is no regular refrigeration here. We "have all things in common" and purchase groceries and household items with money we all pitch in, and share most meals together. I’m amazed at how much of my day revolves around food preparation. In the US food preparation/eating was a very small portion of my day. Now with market walks, solar cooking, the knowledge that since it is for the group I need to put effort into it, limited supplies, new cookbooks, etc., meal preparation takes forever! I’m enjoying learning to cook different things than I’ve ever done and am much more resourceful now.

There is no hot water. All water for cooking/drinking goes through filters. Dish water is cold (and slightly brown—it is water from the Nile). After dishes we recycle it by watering the plants and fruit trees.

The city is noisy--but not in the way you'd expect. It is not so much cars and sirens-- it is the hee-haw of donkeys, the rattling of their carts, and the shouted greetings of the many pedestrians about 10 feet on the other side of my tent. My tent is on the street side of the SIM property so I catch the city sounds as it wakes up early each day. The streets are dirt, with the exception of two asphalt ones I've seen so far.

When it rains, the dirt becomes a slick sticky goo and travel by anything except Wellingtons becomes virtually impossible unless you want to have mud up to your knees. Some vehicle owners still travel and frequently become entrenched in the mud and require assistance to get moving again. The soil is some kind of clay that has no rocks in it. Within 30 minutes of a rain the soil gets this swishy, bottomless quality and shoes/boots become heavyladen with the mud. It is an intereresting mess.

The rains always bring a cooler day and night or two. The consistent rains, necessary for the local crops, have not yet arrived. My language tutor told me that the crops have already failed and will have to be replanted when the consistent rains come. I know that is a great financial burden for individuals and the community as a whole. Please pray that the people do not have additional drains on their economy. There are so many challenges for the the south Sudan people already.
Here are some of the sights of the city for you.

Some of the Shilluck tribe ladies in the beginner ESL class
Mary, in front, second from L, runs a teashop nearby and has been incredibly helpful allowing me to practice my Arabic with her.

Blessed rain coming. Mary says, "The rain, it wants to come." when the sky looks like this.

The wildlife aren't much to worry about here in the city.

Hedgehog found in one of the empty tents.

I frequently run into this litle girl on the way to/from the market. She is full of smiles and always says a few greetings in Engligh. Oh, yes, that is one of the main streets of the city.

Random pic after church.

Every Sunday everyone lines up and goes the length of the line and

shakes hands with EVERYONE before leaving. Love this custom!

Sudan Interior Church School morning assembly. This elementary school

for 400 students is just across the fence from us.

There is a hammock for chilling. : )

Mary in her teashop with another missionary, Heather

Amanda and Heather walking to Hi Jalaba to visit Darfur friends

Well, the two on the left are actually relieving themselves.

Yes, right in the ditch between their tukul and the street.

Cute little one we visit along with a whole group of ladies living in community together as refugees

Gale (missionary) and me visiting with Mary's family in her home

Angelina (one of the ladies in the ESL class) with Gale, me, Heather in our lawas

The view from the hammock of the shelter over my tent

Beautiful!

My transport into Sudan. Since there is little in way of commercial flights in South Sudan, we are dependent on a number of connecting flights with organizations such as World Food Program

and Mission Aviation Fellowship

Bun for five. The ladies serve us this sweet, spicy coffee in tiny cups with many refills.

Some of our friends

Me with some of the ladies ESL class. I'm going to miss them!

Tropical medicine learning

2010-06-30T21:48:00.001+03:00

This blog was written but not posted in mid-April, 2010

I'm learning so much here in the mountains of North Carolina!

Thank you Equip International Staff and Dr. Mary!

nasogastric tubes for children who will not/cannot drink

delivering babies

physical assessment and history interviews

rehydration therapy (oral and intraperitoneal)

injections

lab work

urinalysis

splinting

tooth extraction

demonization

dislocations

snake and insect bites

suturing

nerve blocks

learning how to educate the nationals

studying different regions/countries' problem conditions

treating malaria, leprosy, tuberculosis, STDs, a hundred different kind of parasites, worms, larva, amoeba, etc.

Learning to check for ear infection

Dr. Mary demonstrates tooth extraction

Sutured cow tongues

Demonstrating Nerve blocks

Our class of missionaries on the way to the field

Learning the different kinds of sutures, on cow tongue

Mutatu madness

2010-06-30T21:33:00.000+03:00

Blog from June 16, 2010.

There is a form of public transport here in Nairobi that intrigues me. The Mutatu is a questionable means of getting around the city quickly, but not safely. For 20 shillings (less than 15 cents) a person puts him/herself in the hands (and seatbeltless seat or isle) of a driver who is bent on getting as many people as quickly as possible from one point to the next so he can take the money and get on to the next set of paying customers. Today during rush hour I saw one packed so tightly with people they had difficulty closing the door.

The owners express themselves by naming their vehicles. Here are some names I saw just today in about 40 minutes of walking. Passion, Tormenta, Frakas, Gracious, Guiltiness, Jesus Saves, Baby Boy, Rine, Miles, Dust, Apex, Jebazu, Savor, One Love, Twitter, Bleak, Soul Food and Latifah.

Two people work the Mutatu--a driver and a seller of seats. The seller frequently hangs out of the doorway or sits in a window and solicits business. He holds up two fingers to indicate he can fit two more people in the van. Mind you, that doesn't mean there are seats available. He solicits passengers in Ki Swahili so I cannot understand, but the message is clear. "We are going to ____ point for only 20 shillings, come on!" There is always a rushed air about them as they won't make money if they take too long at any one stop. People sometimes have only a second or so to step up into the van before it careens off to the next point. They are frequently in fender bender accidents as traffic laws are ignored. I think the horn is used more frequently than the brake.

Mutatus are known to be hotbeds for pickpockets. We at SIM are discouraged from using them. I have not found it necessary to do so yet. 95% of the time I can walk to the place I need to be within 20 minutes. We shall see.

I do not have enough bandwidth to upload photos. Sorry. I'll do that when the internet is less restricted.

The poor you will always have with you

2010-06-29T21:06:00.001+03:00

"The poor you will always have with you…”

Never before have I been so gripped by the stories of Jesus and the disciples in reference to the poor, the crippled, the sick, the widows and orphans. Even though I haven’t yet arrived in Doro where the commonality of all of those things will increase, I am so touched by them in Nairobi and Malakal. The first few days in Nairobi I did not give anything to the beggars and crippled on roads and sidewalks. My thought process was that I did not want to contribute to misuse of funds and I considered that some of them might be working for people who extorted them. But each time I passed them, I felt worse. One afternoon I saw two women with misshapen feet about 50 feet from each other. I’m ashamed to say I walked past them both. That was the last time I did not give to the women begging. I purposed in my heart that afternoon to begin giving to those who ask, remembering Jesus saying that when we do it unto others, we are giving to Him.
That night in my personal study time I read in Luke where Jesus actually says….
“Give to everyone who begs of you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them…Be merciful even as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:30-36
That day the first time I gave to a beggar it was a small package of food to a lady who is frequently seen near the largest dept/grocery store. I also shook her hand and greeted her as “Mama”, the greeting of respect for an older woman. She beamed. After that I gave a little money to each who asked of me, or I gave packages of peanuts to those who told me they are hungry. I encouraged the capable looking men to look for work when I gave to them. Most of the women begging did not speak English. I would have liked to sit down with a few of them to hear their stories.
I know that in some settings it would be unsafe to begin giving out money to those who ask, but when it seems safe to do, I am thrilled to give out of the abundance with which I have been blessed. I think too of the gift of salvation that is so much more valuable than money. I pray that God guides my words with everyone He brings across my path.

Lessons I'm learning

2010-06-11T00:10:00.001+03:00

Some things I'm learning in Kenya:

Fill the Katadyn water filter hours before you need clean water.
An individual who is directionally challenged in America is still directionally challenged in a city with streets all at right angles.
Forget the germs and hold onto whatever you can grab in the city bus or you will fall down. A pause of one second is apparently sufficient for the nationals to board or exit the bus.
Food tastes different in Kenya. Mangoes are better.
Stoves do not light without a match or lighter.
Kenyan people are really good with names. I am not.
Nakumatt, the local Wal-Mart, is not selling things at a discount. A 400 gram box of granola costs 379 shillings which would take a person on almost 19 bus rides.
The weather is very comfortable--60s and 70s and there are many flowers growing around the compounds' walls. I love flowers!
It is possible for an apartment to be without water for days in the capital city even though the bill is paid.
Bucket showers can get an individual surprisingly clean.
Men do not wear jeans in Nairobi. Dress pants and crisp button down shirts are the standard. Neither men nor women wear shorts.
Cell phones and SIM cards are cheap and everyone has them. Today I watched a man pushing a bicycle with containers literally stacked about 10 feet high on the back of it. He almost dropped the bike and it's cargo in the rain soaked street to answer his cell phone.
It is light from 6:30am-6:30pm year round.
I've not seen any of the famous Kenyan runners, or anyone running at all, for that matter.
Cadburry chocolates are almost as good as Hershey/MnMs.
Every Kenyan I've met so far speaks Swahili and English beautifully.
Kenyans and Sudanese people often hold your hand for a long time when meeting you for the first or second time.
Every apartment complex, church, home and sizable business outside of the mall is protected by a gated and guarded compound.
Greetings are VERY important and older women are addressed respectfully and universally as "Mama".
I'm am not a natural language learner. The Swahili greetings I've learned I've already forgotten with the exception of Jambo!
When you are looking down at your cell phone instead of at the road, you might trip over a monkey.
Kenya is considered a "Christian" country like the US.
It takes a lot of behind the scenes work to keep a missionary team well equipped practically, physically, medically and emotionally.
People not only drive on the left side of the road--they walk on the left side of sidewalks. I "shout" that I'm an American by veering to the right still.
The largest denomination of money in Kenyan shillings is 1000, the equivalent of about $13. The smallest is a half-shilling, worth less than a penny.
It is not OK for a woman to go out alone after dark and that is only one of many security issues.
Most of the sizable businesses in Nairobi are not owned by Kenyans but by people from India.

I have much to learn.

From the air over Sudan

2010-06-07T23:54:00.000+03:00

Within two hours I will have my feet planted on Africa soil at last. My heart is joyful, my spirit is worshipful of my gracious heavenly Father who allowed me to come, and I am in great anticipation of the education and work ahead. Right now I am flying over southern Sudan perhaps not far from my new home in the village of Doro. Night has fallen and the landscape is dark--so unlike flying anywhere in the US where you can always see the effects of electricity and automobiles. I ponder the evening activities of the individuals living their lives 37000 feet below. I have thought so much of them over the past four and a half years! Soon I will live among them! The realization of my long awaited dream has me humbled and teary eyed. Who am I that I should be able to live here and share my life and faith with these people. Thank you Father for allowing me to be part of Your plan among the Sudanese.

Status Update!

2010-05-21T17:51:00.000+03:00

With joy I share that my ticket has been purchased for my departure to Kenya and Sudan. I leave Northwest Arkansas on June 6th! I have reached 100% of my financial budget goal in promises and hope to see the full amount come in by the end of this month. Thank you to so many of you who have joined my prayer team and financial support team. I could not do this without you! Together with you, with great JOY, I follow God's leading to serve Him among the Maaban people.

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, in view or your participation in the gospel from the first day until now. " Phil 1:3-5

Mom

2010-05-17T16:11:00.000+03:00

Waiting to go to surgery

Eight days later, ready to go home!

My mother is now almost three weeks out from a triple by-pass surgery. It has been a challenging time for her physically and emotionally, but she is doing well and on track with healing and rehabilitation. We have spent a great deal of time together and it has been precious! We've experienced many role reversals and laughs. I thank God that she was able to have the surgery while I am still in the States! We are optimistic that after a few more weeks of rehabilitation she will feel better than she has felt in many years. The surgery was long overdue and she has suffered some affects of coronary artery disease for as long as I can remember.

compassion fatigue and what is vital

2010-05-15T20:18:00.001+03:00

I have been following the blog of a young pediatric nurse serving in Togo with Mercy Ships. www.alirae.net/blog She is overwhelmed with the needs, many of which her team is not equipped to meet. Her palpable pain with unnecessary suffering and death brings me to my biggest concern when I begin work in Sudan--the need is so much more overwhelming than we will be able to meet. I have the personality to work really hard and not give up until the job is complete. But the work is never done in Africa. There is always someone else in need, hungry, hurting, dying. I think of how Jesus could have healed entire villages with a word or wave of his hand--but he chose to touch one at a time. I long for the mind of Christ as I begin serving the millions in need.

I'm reminded of my work at the children's shelter where the hurts are often deeper than we can touch in the children's 45 day stay. Our director for a number of years had this story on his wall to help with perspective.

"Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he was it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.
As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"
The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean."
"I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish int the ocean?"
"The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."
"But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"
The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean, past the breaking waves and said-- "It made a difference for that one."

God cares man's soul more than starfish and sparrows, more than our physical pain and emotional distress, more than our job and our social standing. He longs to know us and be known by us. His plan involves bringing the nations to Himself and seeing the whole world filled with those who worship Him. He allows us, commands us, honors us, to be a part of sharing His Truth. "May the knowledge of the Glory of the Lord cover the earth as the waters cover the sea." This thought is repeated 14 times in scripture.

"But how can they call on Him to save them unless they believe in Him? And how can they believe in Him if they have never heard about Him? And how can they hear about Him unless someone tells them?" Romans 10:14

Thank you!

2010-04-08T08:13:00.000+03:00

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now..." Philipians 1:3-5

God is providing THROUGH YOU the resources for the work He has called me to do. I now have promises for 72% of the monthly budget needed for my upcoming work in Sudan! Thank you to those of you who have joined my team and who are praying for me! I certainly could not go without your partnership. If I have 100% of the monthly budget promised by April 20th I will be able to leave for Sudan on May 15th.

Any gifts that are given in my name to SIM until my departure go toward my up-front costs which include training, orientation, immunizations, language study and flights. Recurrent gifts after May go toward my monthly budget and are managed by the mission agency. Please let me know if you have any questions. It can be a bit confusing...

Abundance

2010-04-08T07:48:00.000+03:00

"Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God's hand for that person. Don't tell your neighbor 'Maybe some other time' or 'Try me tomorrow' when the money's right there in your pocket." Proverbs 3:27-28 (The Message)

As a nurse in the US I am bringing home more pay than ever before, having worked only for non-profit agencies since graduating college in '95. As I look at my abundance while still working at the hospital, I consider what this verse and others like it mean in my life. Everywhere I look there is need. I pray for discernment of how to give and to whom. There are so many wonderful organizations and projects within my community and world. My small church has ten missionaries on the field. There are many organizations and projects right here in my community to which I could give-- like The Cobblestone Project. Through my mission agency and among my friends and acquaintances I know about 50 people on the mission field with whom I can share what God has blessed me with. It is so exciting to be able to be a financial blessing to those doing the work of the ministry!

As I continue raising financial support for my work in Sudan--when I will no longer be earning a paycheck--I ponder what those I ask to help think of my asking. I am seeking support not only because it is necessary for the work, but also because it allows those who have a heart for missions and/or humanitarian aid a chance to partner in the work even if they cannot personally go. Support raising is also Biblical. See Matthew 9:9-10, Acts 18:4,5 and 1 Corinthians 9:1-18.

However, I am still asking for money which can be awkward at times. If I have asked you and you are unsure if you want to be involved, please know that I only want you to be financially involved IF you believe in the work I am going to do. There are dear people in my life who want to give to me but I want people to know they are giving into Kingdom work--like James 1:27 "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."

The need in Sudan is overwhelming, but as Jesus touched one at a time, I greatly anticipate loving on these women one at a time as God causes our paths to cross.

Sudanese people within reach!

2010-03-09T04:51:00.000+03:00

This past weekend I attended an SIM fellowship in Dallas. I have the opportunity to meet two gentlemen from Sudan. It was such a blessing. My heart seemed to swell and make space crowded in my chest--a physical/emotional reaction that tells me my prayer for God to fill me with love for the Sudanese before I get to Sudan-- has begun to be answered.

These two gentlemen came to the US as refugees about ten years ago. They are believers and attended the SIM event with one of their pastors. I am so grateful for the opportunity to shake the hand of people from the nation God has called me to love. They were warm and friendly and had gentle eyes in spite of the atrocities they have experienced.

Financial partnering progress

2010-03-02T22:37:00.000+03:00

I have a little over 25% of the monthly financial partners that I need to be able to leave for Sudan. Will you please consider joining me in the ministry to the Maaban in the village of Doro?

If you would like to join my financial support team for the ministry in Sudan follow these instructions:

Click on https://usanet.sim.org/SIMGift/detail.aspx
Enter Sheila West 030279 on the first line.
Select "Support" under the "designation" drop down menu.

The rest is pretty self-explanatory. Please let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you!

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Phil 1:3-6

How you can be involved

2010-02-22T07:43:00.001+03:00

I am only TWO MONTHS from my projected departure date for Doro, Sudan! However, there is much to be done before that time.

I have to give away and/or store 36 years of accumulated STUFF.
I have to say goodbye to hundreds of lovely friends and family.
I will wrap up my work on the pediatric floor at Mercy Medical Center at the end of March.
I have to get from 30% support to 100% support in my financial partnerships.
I will take an intensive two week tropical medicine course in North Carolina beginning April 11.
I have to finish reading seveal books required by my mission agency to help prepare me spiritually and emotionally for the work ahead.
I have to learn at least a little Arabic through my Rosetta Stone software--which I cannot get to operate on my laptop...

...and this is only a partial list of the many tasks waiting to be checked off between my duplex in Arkansas and my tukul in Sudan.

My hope is to leave for Sudan immediately after the tropical medicine course, however, that will only be possible if I have 100% of my financial support collected and ready to be allocated by my mission agency. SIM's policy is to wait to purchase my plane ticket until the one-time outgoing amount is 100% collected ($15,571) and the full monthly amount is promised ($2213).

It has come to my attention lately that I have not been communicating well the process for joining my support team. I apologize! I am very eager to have people join me so that I can begin serving in Sudan!

Here is the information for giving by snail mail.

Make your check payable to SIM USA.
Mail it to SIM USA, Inc., PO Box 7900, Charlotte NC 28241
Attach a note indicating that it is for the Support account for Sheila West #030279.

It is possible to join my financial support team on-line.

Click on https://usanet.sim.org/SIMgift/detail.aspx
Enter Sheila West 030279 on the first line.
Select "Support" under the designation drop down menu.
Enter amount to the right.
Follow the prompts as to whether you want it to be a one time gift or a repetitive gift.

You can donate a tax deductible gift with a credit card or electronic check. Any "monthly" gifts that come in before May will be applied to the one-time outgoing expense.

Please let me know if you have any questions or would like to have a face to face meeting to hear more about the ministry. It is my pleasure to share about what God is doing with the team currently serving in Doro.

Thank you so much! Please email or call me if you have any questions. I love sharing about the ministry in Sudan so let me know if you would like to meet face to face to hear more about what God is doing through the SIM team among the Maaban in Sudan.

Current prayer requests include

A closer relationship with and steadfast trust in God for every aspect of my life.
For conections with those who will partner prayerfully, emotionally and financially with me
That I will take full advantage of oportunities to learn and grow NOW
That God will prepare my heart for the ministry ahead
For peace for my family and friends as I prepare to leave

"The spirit of Christ is the spirit of missions. The nearer we get to Him, the more intensely missionary we become." --Henry Martyn

The opinion of man

2010-02-22T06:46:00.001+03:00

I have been struck lately with the amazement and wonder with which people respond when they find out I am moving to Africa. I have received much praise and heard over and over, "I cannot believe you are doing that!" and "You are such a good person." etc. Thank you for sharing your opinion, but I feel really awkward with such accolades.

I do not see this move as a sacrifice. I do not see it as a 'good thing'. It is God's call on my life and to do anything else would find me unfulfilled and living outside the will of God. Frankly, I would be miserable.

Since I have been on this journey to missionary nursing in Africa I have known much joy and peace. Being in the center of God's will has been the best ride of my life. I cannot wait until He is using me to shine His light in the village of Doro.

I am in awe and so humbled that I GET to move to Africa and live among a people suffering and needing the love and hope of a Savior and the assistance of some people who have something to teach them--and learn from them. I get to be the hands of God providing comfort, support and health education. I get to have my life changed and my faith overhauled by the work I see God doing in a people who seem to have insurmountable obstacles between them and what I think of as an abundant life.

"Expect great things from God; attempt great things for God."--William Carey

SIM Video clip

2010-02-22T06:12:00.000+03:00

Here is a link to a video clip produced by my mission agency, Serving in Mission. I'd much rather tell you about the call on my heart in person--but this will help you get an idea of what, where and why if I am not able to meet with you face to face.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNYHMRuz8Qs

Tropical medicine course

2010-01-21T02:56:00.002+03:00

Today I am officially enrolled in a tropical medicine course designed for missionaries going into remote areas. I am so excited. It will be taught by Dr. Mary Vanderkooi, an Equip missionary who served in Ethiopia for many years. Sudan's climate and resources are similar to Ethiopia's so I am excited to learn from someone who has been so close to the area and conditions in which I will work.

In the two week course I will be in class all day filled with lectures, lab and case studies, followed with evenings spent reading the textbooks and hanging out with other missionaries. I will learn to diagnose and treat leprosy, TB, malaria, worms, burns, and hundreds of other illnesses/injuries I may encounter. The primary difference from nursing school is that I will not be learning about treating them in the manner I would here in the States--but learning to treat them with limited diagnostics and resources on the field. Improvisation will have a whole new meaning! I cannot wait!

I have learned loads in the past three years in nursing school and at Mercy Medical Center--but I anticipate the upcoming learning to be more medically relevant than anything I have learned thus far regarding my service in Sudan. The course begins on April 11th and ends on the 22nd. I hope to leave for Sudan just two days later from the SIM base in North Carolina.

I am so incredibly blessed and humbled to be on this journey. I am amazed that God picked me to do this!

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world." C.S. Lewis

Gratitude

2009-11-29T07:34:00.008+03:00

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity ...It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." --Melodie Beattie

I heard a message today about how when we really comprehend God's grace and love in our lives we will live lives of gratitude to Him and that gratitude spills over and looks like generosity. I can see that at points in my life but it is not a consistent attitude for me and oh how I desire it!

Sometimes I am overcome with the sense of God's grace in my life and other times I find myself striving to do right and "working" to please God. I desire my devotion to come out of my love relationship with God. Recently I heard a message by Francis Chan and began reading his book, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. My heart resonated with his message about a life overtaken by God's inexpressible, incomprehensible, all powerful and earth shattering love.

Here are a few quotes from the book:

"Having faith often means doing what other see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers."

"Over time I realized that when we love God, we naturally run to Him--frequently and zealously...The results are intimate prayer and study of His Word. Our motivation changes from guilt to love."

"Don't we live instead as though God is created for us, to do our bidding, to bless us and take care of our loved ones?....He has more of a right to ask us why so many people are starving...we are in no place to demand that He give an account to us...could it be your arrogance that makes you think God owes you and explanation?"

"The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time. He treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him--and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by."

Many Spirit-filled authors have exhausted the thesaurus in order to describe God with the glory He deserves. His perfect holiness, by definition, assures us that our words cannot contain Him. Isn't it a comfort to worship a god we cannot exaggerate?"

Information about Doro--my home in 6 months

2009-11-04T05:08:00.012+03:00

The examination area in the clinic

The making of pumpkin soup

The Village of Hope--a place of treatment for malnourished children who live there with their mothers

The Doro Airstrip

Tukul --I'll live in one of these eventually, but I may start out in a tent.

Cycling to church

SIM's former hospital buildings, damaged by two wars in Sudan.

Tukuls, tents and quads in the SIM compound

From the borehole water supply to her tukul

Church

The preferred shower of the three in the SIM compound.

SIM produced this short video clip for me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNYHMRuz8Qs

Here are some things I've learned about the location and ministry.

When a plane is expected one of the missionaries takes a four wheeler "the quad" out to the dirt landing strip and rides up and down on it to clear off the cows so that plane has a clear strip on which to land.
My primary foods will be beans, lentils, rice, pumpkin, maize, okra and sorghum. The sorghum grain is used to make a bread.
My transportation will be by foot and bicycle.
I will shower as needed under the open sky with water falling from a buckets with a spray spout that I will open and close as needed. Shorter hair will definitely be in order then.
The clinic is a five minute walk from the tuckul where I will live.
Our water source is our a borehole a short quad or donkey cart ride away--or walk if you are strong like the young lady pictured above.
The two major religions in the area are Islam and Christianity--with influences of ancient tribal religions mixed with them.
There are at least two Christian churches meeting within bicycle riding distance from the SIM compound. Think Biblically about what a church is--a group of people, not a building.
Approximately every three months a couple of us from the Doro team will fly to the SIM base in Nairobi, Kenya or supplies and rest. I believe the break/resupply trip is about four weeks long.
The national language is Arabic. The heart language is Maaban.
The Doro clinic --The Memorial Health Care Center-- is the only medical facility for many miles.
The Community Health Care Worker Training school is a nine month program for individuals from surrounding villages to attend for nine months and then return to their villages able to diagnose and treat many common illnesses.
One in four children in Sudan does not survive to age five.

"For the love of Christ controls (compels) us, because we have concluded this: that One has died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised." 2 Corinthians 5:14-15

Prayer Card

2009-11-02T20:43:00.002+03:00

Thank you, Bob! Obviously I couldn't have done it without you.

Medical Mission in Nicaragua

2009-09-26T16:19:00.014+03:00

Some images from the Medical Mission trip to Nicaragua

A home just outside one of our clinic locations

A secondary school where we held clinic one day

Part of our team at the airport

The pharmacy at one of our clinic sites

Dr. Phipps writes a script

Dr Phipps assessing a patient

Dr Phipps and our translator, Emilio, with patients

Boy naps in hammock outside the clinic back door

Beautiful!

Baby displaying typical sign of ear infection pain--tugging at her ear.

The children outside the clinic LOVE having their photo taken then clamor around me to look at themselves on the small digital screen.

The first day of clinic

Abuelas

I'm just finishing a quick medical mission trip in Nicaragua. It has been an amazing education and a refreshing look into a new culture for me. The people are lovely, amiable, passionate, loving, patient and generous. We North Americans have much to learn-- in a positive outlook, an unselfish lifestyle, a non-materialistic mindset and generous heart --from them. Each day we set up a 'mobile' clinic in a different location in the poor areas of the capital city of Managua. Four physicians, a chiropractor, a massage therapist and five nurses made up the medical team. We saw an average of 90 patients a day. A shocking 20%-30% of the population of Nicaragua has Type Two diabetes. Gastritis, hypertension, fungal rashes and bronchitis are also very common.

I learned much from the physician I was paired with--Dr. Phipps. When he saw my enthusiasm to learn he became a very patient teacher. I learned about all kinds of conditions that I do not get to see in my hospital work setting such as common ear infections, scabies, urinary tract infections and growing pains. I'm so thankful for this quick view into medical missions. The conditions under which we assessed, diagnosed, educated and treated were far from ideal--but I am certain a lasting difference was made for many--most importantly that God's love was seen in our eyes, heard in our voices and felt through our hands.

"Kind words are jewels that live in the heart and soul and remain as blessed memories years after they have been spoken." --Marvea Johnson

Enthusiasm and the ordinary

2009-09-09T22:04:00.008+03:00

The root of enthusiasm is "Go in". I like that! I am so thrilled that God is taking me on this journey with Him into Sudan. In the midst of intimidating changes in my life and church and with the huge task of asking hundreds of people to partner with me, I am so grateful that God is leading this move and I rest in the knowledge that He carries me.

With great enthusiasm I look toward the move and the mountain of learning and adjustments just beginning when I board that international flight next year. But in the logistic here stateside--of writing newsletters, raising support, managing a list-serve database that completely confusing me, asking people in a troubled economy to add another section to their budget--my enthusiasm wanes. I am learning that much of ministry is not "ministry" in the classic, spiritual sense, but just work--tedious logistics, hours at the computer with little to show for it, muddling about in technical computer programs, gathering the courage to begin learning a new language...

I have new respect and understanding for missionaries, pastors, worship leaders, etc.

When intimidated by things I have not done before I become a dreadful procrastinator. This laziness/procrastination disappoints me daily and results in a much delayed first newsletter and prayer card and getting my list-serve set up. I'm finally asking for assistance with the computer components of producing and developing them--so hopefully I will have information out to everyone soon. Obviously I cannot dive into ministry in Africa until goals are met here, so I am setting my face and plodding ahead through the ordinariness of "getting to the mission field." I have so much to learn and grow in... I believe I've romanticized being a missionary and serving God on the field. I forget that Jesus plodded through the mundane in dusty sandals.

"Work is love made visible." --Kahlil Gilbran

Emotion

2009-08-11T16:33:00.007+03:00

I have experienced a sort of emotional high since I have been en route to Africa with schooling and training. There has been a joy that has overridden my other emotions most of every day. However, I have had some significant dips in that emotional high recently. In the past week several of my friends and one of my family members have experienced very difficult circumstances and for them my heart has broken.

I'm recognizing that the joy of my life in Christ prevails over the emotional lows, but that does not prevent me from questioning why God allows so much suffering in those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Amy Carmichael, missionary to India, knew suffering. For the last 20 years of her life she was bedridden and in constant pain. Her writings indicate her unwavering trust in God and how she did not focus on her own suffering but focused on bringing encouragement to others.

"I often think how wonderful it is to have nothing to think of, no care in all the world but to do His will and finish His work. There are sorrows--there must be in a world full of sorrow--but, 'This one thing I do' can be our work. And there is joy in that. I have been reading Ephesians 3:10, 11. 'The powers in the heavenly places' are real powers. If only we by the grace of God live lives that glorify our Lord, if only we are not overcome by griefs and trials such as those we are passing through now, but look above them and go on in peace, then something of the wonderful wisdom of God will be shown in in those unseen Watchers. It is a solemn thought, for of course the opposite is true. If we are 'overcome of evil' we show nothing of His love and grace and all that is meant by His 'manifold wisdom', Oh may He help us not to lose this opportunity to glorify His name." Amy Carmichael, a letter to a friend in Candles in the Dark

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith--that I many know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any mans possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:8-13

"Think of yourself as belonging first to your Lord and then to all, servant of all. In serving any one of the 'all' you are serving Him who is your Lord. Life is never lonely or empty if we keep Him where He must always be, in the first place." --Amy Carmichael

I'm going to be serving in Sudan!

2009-07-22T21:40:00.005+03:00

A great weight has been lifted from my shoulders! Today I received my placement from my mission agency, SIM. Next year I will be serving God in a small village in South Sudan. A mixture of emotions floods my mind and body, but the pervading emotion is joy. There have been so many years, so many steps, so many prayers and so much question about WHERE God would have me share His love, grace and the gifts He has given me. I am so thrilled to have that question answered and to be moving on toward that end.

In shrinking Sheila fashion I hoped that the decision would not be left up to me, and in truth, it wasn't. On the business side of things I was offered positions in both Sudan and Malawi and had to follow the vision God gave me to have the location settled. There were many practical and social reasons for going to Malawi, but in the end I felt I had no choice but to follow the vision God has given me of serving in a small village where I know and am known by the nationals I live in community with. I cannot wait to serve these people who are in such need of physical, economic, spiritual and emotional ministry as they work to rebuild their lives following the turmoil of over two decades of civil war.

Many of you expressed concern about my safety when you knew that Sudan was one of my possible placements. Well, let me share some information to put your mind at ease. With your prayers and God's grace I will be very safe. South Sudan is currently in a tentative state of peace because of a five year peace treaty with the North. When that ends in 2011 there may be the potential for trouble, but SIM has a contingency plan and keeps a close eye on the ground to know if teams should be evacuated.

I will be sharing more details via this blog, on email and in person, but I couldn't wait to get the news out to those of you who have been eagerly awaiting to know where I would be going. Thank you for your prayers.

Myths about the mission field

2009-07-20T17:49:00.006+03:00

Motor vehicles accidents are the leading cause of death on the mission field. Not kidnapping and murder, not during violent crime of robbery, not illness, not snake bites or lion attacks, and not political or religious uprisings. MVAs! That might point our prayers in another direction. Hmmm.

Another common misconception about missionaries is that they return home because the work was too hard, they failed to acclimate to the culture, they experienced burnout, they lacked finances or they just didn't see the fruits of their labors. The primary reason American missionaries return home from the mission field before finishing their term is because they were unable to resolve problems with their fellow missionaries on the field. Interpersonal relation problems! This sounds like a silly thing to have such an impact on the work God called them to do--but interpersonal relationships are what the enemy seems to target most when he sees that God's people are being effective.

"I give you a new command: Love each other. You must love each other as I have loved you. All people will know that you are my followers if you love each other." John 13:34, 35

Learning from Missionaries

2009-07-14T21:19:00.006+03:00

I have been at the SIM USA headquarters in North Carolina for four days . I have been exposed to several fabulous missionary speakers and heard many stories from those who are going and those who have been there. There are 39 of us here for this pre-field training. I am one of the older ones. There are TWELVE single women headed for Africa within the next year. It has been such a blessing to be around like minded people. I do not stick out as the girl who wants to go live in Africa here but fit right in with others with a passion and calling like mine.

Most of the lectures so far have been very practical! One of today's speakers used a lot of quotables--which you probably know I love!

Hudson Taylor: "The secret to faith that is ready for emergencies is the quiet practical dependence upon God day by day, for that's what makes Him real to the believer's heart."

Bob Hay: "The secret to stayability lies in your confidence in the process God used to lead you to wherever He placed you."

"Nothing is innocuous."

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

"It's not wrong, it's different."--when referring to ways another culture surprises you or even appals you.

"If I roll with the interruptions (during my busy work days) I may then find myself in the place where God is working."

Here is a list of some of the scheduled lectures so you can get an idea of what I'm learning.

Modesty and Propriety, Spiritual Warfare, Traveling Cross-culturally, Sexual purity, Stress, Working with Muslims, Travel tips, Finances, Giving and Hospitality Overseas, Health on the Field, Language Learning, Bible Teaching, Contextualizing Theology, and Community and Personality

We also have the opportunity to take elective classes such as Cooking from Scratch, Car Maintenance and Learning to drive a stick shift!

I'm loving this place and these people and my God who has placed me here at such a time as this.

Intensity

2009-07-04T06:36:00.003+03:00

My work at the hospital has been really intense lately. More than ever, as I prepare for work, I take deep breaths and pray for grace to handle the situations in which I will find myself on the hospital floor.

We have lost a couple of patients in the past month, but saved some others. I'm reminded often that God determines the number of our days. It is a privilege to be working with His children. The deaths have been difficult for me, especially because the patients were very young. In my emotional journey with death here in the states, I realize how ill equipped I currently am for the frequency with which I will face the death of my patients in Africa.

I have much growth to do, though I do not lie to myself and think that I will ever be fully grown.

Time is short!

2009-06-11T00:25:00.003+03:00

I realized this week that I have been a nurse for nine months! Nine months of having other people's lives figuratively in my hands. Have I mentioned nursing is difficult!?! Most mornings when I leave work I've already recognized two or three things that I should have done differently! By the time I wake up from day sleep I've thought of some more. I have so much to learn!

My projected date of arrival in Africa is only 10 months away--where a whole new nursing learning will be before me--complicated by language barriers, cultural barriers, the exhaustion that missionaries typically find on the field, the likelihood of insufficient supplies, etc. However, I could not be more thrilled that that challenging time is less than a year away. God will supply the grace for the moments on this journey of His.

"If you have courage, you will influence people based on your convictions. If you lack courage, you will influence people based on your comfort zones. Courage will take you anywhere you believe God is leading you. Without courage, you will go where you are comfortable." --Wayne Schmidt

SIMCO

2009-06-07T00:17:00.002+03:00

In just over a month I will be going to North Carolina for formal missionary training with my mission agency, Serving in Mission. It is going to be exciting and challenging. I will be out of my comfort zone. I trust that I'll return to Arkansas a less timid girl and a more mature believer and spokesperson for my Savior.

one year countdown

2009-05-16T19:34:00.002+03:00

If things go as I plan...

In one year I'll be setting into my African mud brick hut, house or apartment and will begin work. However, there are many stops between now and then. Here are some that I can anticipate, but I'm sure the list in reality will be much longer.

Placement chosen and approved by SIM

SIM training in NC

Support raising

Strengthening of my trust in God

Visa

Tropical medicine course

Possible month long crash course in delivering babies at SIM hospital

"The mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Waiting

2009-05-05T04:42:00.002+03:00

My life has involved a lot of waiting and God has blessed me with a reasonable amount of patience. Waiting to learn of my placement in Africa is my biggest and most exciting wait in a long time. I'll share the news when I receive it. There are many factors and until these things are all resolved/determined/lined up--I wait... There is joy in knowing I will be planted where God wants me, but my heart still gets all jumpy with anticipation and wonder as I fill the days until He lets me in on the plan.

"Nothing can wholly satisfy the life of Christ within his followers except the adoption of Christ's purpose toward the world he came to redeem." - J. Campbell White

Community Development

2009-04-08T05:54:00.008+03:00

I am never disappointed by the Perspectives speakers. There is always Biblical Truth mixed with practical information having to do with working with a different culture, adjusting to minimal living styles, advice on living with other missionaries (conflict with other missionaries is one of the primary reasons for people leaving the field before their term ends), sharing the Gospel in an effective way considering the religious climate and the learning style of the people group, etc.

Tonight the speakers talked about community development. After looking at how Jesus and the disciples met physical needs and shared the Truth, we looked at practical things relevant in underdeveloped areas today. One speaker--who I have to label an "Inventor"-- has made a few devices to provide fresh water from contaminated water, cook with sunlight, use solar power to charge cell phones and provide a source of income for the people, etc. So inspiring! There is so much to the old adage, "Don't give them a fish, but teach them to fish."

Of particular note to me was Jesus quotation of the prophet Isaiah--"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor." Luke 4:18-19. Jesus was about the whole person. In nursing school they talked much about "holistic nursing" where we assess and treat not only the physical needs, but the spiritual, social and emotional needs as well. I've been witness countless times where these are tied closely together with the physical reason the person seeks medical treatment. The recovery process depends heavily on how the person deals with the issues in all of these aspects. Some on the Mercy health care team are very good at addressing all of them. I hope we get better at it. North American culture teaches us to separate all the aspects of the person. Most other cultures see all of them together as making up the whole. All too often we are hacking away at the symptoms with medications and procedures instead of targeting the underlying causes.

Here are some power packed quotes from the evening. "It is a transformed person who transforms his or her environment. Transformation comes through a relationship with Christ. Deeds give credibility to the Gospel" AC Musopole and Dr. Ed Klotz

"God's church falters from exhaustion because Christians erroneously think that God has given them a mission to perform in the world. Rather, the God of mission has given his church to the world. It is not the church of God that has a mission in the world, but the God of mission who has a church in the world. The church's involvement in mission is its privileged participation in the actions of the triune God." Tim Dearborn

Red Letters

2009-03-26T05:06:00.003+03:00

A friend gave me a copy of Red Letters by Tom Davis. I highly recommend it. Here is an excerpt from the Introduction.

"The continent is on fire with AIDS, and unless drastic action is taken, entire countries will be wiped off the face of the planet by this disease.

Sadly, the church has been slow to act in response to this crisis. Like the priest and Levite of Jesus' parable, we have passed by the man on the side of the road, too busy or too "holy" to involve ourselves in lending a helping hand.

Africa is indeed on fire. But as we argue or fuss about how it started and who should be saved first, thousands more children are orphaned each day. Every hour, another 1000 children will die. Did you know that you are just a short plane ride away from a world where eight year old girls prostitute themselves for food?

The true state of emergency lies within the church--it lies within us. It's our problem. We can't leave Africa's children lying by the side of the road as we pass on by.

The gospel I believe in offers a cup of cold water in Jesus' name. The only gospel worth living is the one that incarnates love. The only gospel worth giving our lives for is the one that elevates the needs of others above our own. That's what the "good news" is all about.

And thankfully, there is more good news. Though the church as been slow to move, things are improving. National and local church leaders are beginning to challenge congregations to think globally when they offer that cup of cold water. Christian organizations are responding with more and more boldness. Still, we have a lot to learn and a long way to go. History will judge our generation by how we responded to those in need. History will judge the church by how it responded. We have an opportunity to show the world just what it really means to be Christ-followers. We can make a difference. We can change the world. When we lead with compassion, we can move from apology to action. And out of actions springs hope--hope and life. So, for our mistakes...I am sorry. But for our potential, for the impact you and I can have on a world in need...I am hopeful."

I realize this writing has a "YOU, get up and so something!" tone, but sometimes that is what we need. When I avoid the news, my work at the children's shelter, emails about needs both in the US and abroad, etc. and stay in my comfort zone of peace and plenty; I find myself cushioned from the reality of the desperate world of need only a few doors down from my home. I forget what I can do for others and instead focus all my attention on those in my immediate path. My passion for the poor, the suffering, the hurting, the abused and the lost weakens. I do not want to be comfortable and passionless. Jesus certainly wasn't.

Books like Red Letters and Left to Tell, movies like Hotel Rwanda, The Girl in the Cafe, We Are Together, Sometimes in April, etc. are good wake up tools for me. I highly recommend them.

Six months as an RN

2009-03-07T00:05:00.004+03:00

I just realized it has been six months since I completed nursing school! I had heard that many nurses suddenly have an epiphany at this point-- that they really know what they are doing and are not experiencing many moments of "Oh, no, what do I do now!?!" Well, I'm a slow learner, and am certainly not there yet. In fact, I think I second guess myself more than ever these days. The past six months have taught me a great deal, but I feel like I'll never get it all. I'll always be a student--fortunately I love to learn--in a truly nerdy way.

Incarnational lifestyle

2009-02-25T07:21:00.004+03:00

Tonight at Perspectives I was really moved by the earnest and honest testimony and inspiration of Jamie Zumwalt. She shared stories of missionaries who were among the first and second waves to 'go forth' in the 1800 and 1900's. She talked of the latest wave of missionaries who use a incarnational lifestyle--live like the people. That is my plan, if my agency and my placement allow it. An incarnational lifestyle might have me living in a mud brick hut, cooking over a three stone fire and washing my clothing beside the national women in the nearest creek. It might involve my carrying five gallon buckets of water to my house twice a day to boil for drinking and to use for bathing. It might involve walking everywhere instead of riding in a car. It might involve not having a cell phone or Internet access except when I am on holiday. It will mean a significant adjustment. However, I look forward to that life change as it brings me into the lives of those in my community and gives me more credibility with the people as I represent Jesus to them.

I confess I do have apprehension about being a victim of crime while in Africa. In many areas the people are so poor and hungry that they steal without giving it thought. In some areas the white people are resented and are all thought to be wealthy (to be fair we probably are) and a great target for theft. Law enforcement officials are sometimes corrupt when it comes to ticketing and fining the white people for minor or even fabricated crimes. While in Malawi I saw one of the missionaries ticketed for a "broken taillight" that was working perfectly. In many areas any woman or child is in danger of being wronged in the most intimate and violent of ways. When I allow my mind to dwell on these things fear does creep in--but doubt about the call on my life does not.

God will be my strong tower when I am afraid. He will be my provider when I am treated unfairly. He will be my endurance when the work is unending and my heart is overcome with the need and pain around me. He will provide the wisdom and ability to perform tasks that I'm called upon to do, but not yet qualified for. He will give me words when I stand speechless in front of a group of women waiting to learn from me. I cannot doubt any of this with the beautiful assurance He has given me in this call to Africa. It is not my life, but His. With joy I lay it down.

I love this classic song of Steven Curtis Chapman.

We will abandon it all for the sake of the call
No other reason at all but the sake of the call
Wholly devoted to live and to die for the sake of the call

Nobody stood and applauded them
So they knew from the start
This road would not lead to fame
All they really knew for sure
Was Jesus had called to them
He said "come follow Me" and they came
With reckless abandon, they came
Empty nets lying there at the water's edge
Told a story that few could believe
And none could explain
How some crazy fisherman agreed to go where Jesus went
With no thought to what they would gain
For Jesus had called them by name
And they answered...

We will abandon it all for the sake of the call
No other reason at all but the sake of the call
Wholly devoted to live and to die for the sake of the call
The sake of the call

Drawn like the rivers are drawn to the sea
There's no turning back, for the water cannot help but flow
Once we hear the Savior's call, we'll follow wherever He leads
Because of the love He has shown
And because He has called us to go
We will answer...

We will abandon it all for the sake of the call
No other reason at all but the sake of the call
Wholly devoted to live and to die
Not for the sake of a creed or a cause
Not for a dream or a promise
Simply because it is Jesus who called
And if we believe we'll obey

We will abandon it all for the sake of the call
No other reason at all but the sake of the call
We will abandon it all for the sake of the call
No other reason at all but the sake of the call
Wholly devoted to live and to die for the sake of the call
For the sake of the call

Risk and Preparation

2009-01-28T07:54:00.005+03:00

Tonight I read one of my required books for SIM. I found myself far more intrigued and encouraged by its contents than I expected and feel silly for having procrastinated it. I want to share a particular section with you.

"Missionaries enter into risk because they are sent into it by God. He is the ultimate sender and administrator of mission. C.S. Lewis described the Christian life as being in a violent storm. Those who lie down may not even understand the nature of the storm. Those who stand up are battered by the tempest." Ian Hay

I feel that much of my life I have been one of those for whom the majority of the storm has passed overhead. I've been safe, comfortable and even have remained naive to an extent about the tremendous need, depravity, sickness, abuse, treachery and evil in the world. However, soon I know that the storm will hit me full force. When I get off the sidelines and into the battle, when I am bringing the Truth of Jesus daily into the lives of those who do not know him, the enemy will raise his head and hit me with some blasts.

During this time of relative calm of working as a nurse in a faith based hospital, I need to be growing in my faith more. I need to be building a scriptural foundation in my heart that I will be able to draw from when the winds and waves assail me. I need to recognize every moment of the day that hope and strength, wisdom and ability are only mine because of Christ in me. My comfortable, "sunny day faith" will not be enough to sustain me on the field.

I recently had a very difficult day at the hospital which I did not manage well. I spent the last hour and a half of the shift in an emotional meltdown and ended the shift in tears, unable to speak about the patient without fresh ones running down my cheeks. In Africa I may face more difficult situations than that on a daily basis. I may even be the one to whom everyone looks for guidance and hope. I do not have it. Christ in me is my only hope.
"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30

What is my motivation?

2009-01-21T23:36:00.002+03:00

Last night the Perspectives speaker spoke on what motivates us to be missionaries. While my motives are good, they may not be what is preeminent--love for Jesus and an all consuming desire for His fame to be spread among all people. I need to do some soul searching. I do desire to see all people come to know and worship Him, but I am also powerfully motivated by compassion and passion for the sick, the orphaned, the discouraged and the hungry. I am going to dissect my heart and again ask God to break my heart with what breaks His and lead me in the perfect way He has for me.

Learning and inspiration

2009-01-14T06:40:00.004+03:00

This Spring I am auditing the Perspectives course again. As an alumni, I can indefinitely attend to hear the lectures from a plethora of missionaries and ministers. It was in Perspectives in 2005 and 2006 that I received inspiration and direction from God about serving as a nurse in Africa. This year I return to glean wisdom and fresh inspiration from the speakers and attendees.

If you have the opportunity to take the course, you won't regret it, and you will never be the same. http://www.perspectives.org/

One of the key points from tonight's lecture is that we are blessed to be a blessing. We have been given the privilege of having the gospel and it is our honor and responsibility to share it. God's plan of redemption is repeated in hundreds of ways through the old and new testament. One thing I learned for the first time that is very significant in God's redemptive work is that 2/3 of Jesus healing ministry involved people the Jewish people called Gentiles. His work was very countercultural.

Psalm 67 "May God be gracious to us and bless us and make His face to shine upon us-- that Your way may be know on earth, Your saving power among all nations. Let the peoples praise You, O God; let all the peoples praise you: Let the nations be glad and sing for joy, for you judge the peoples with equity and guide the nations upon earth. Let the peoples praise you, O God; let all the people praise You! The earth has yielded its increases; God, our God, shall bless us. God shall bless us; let all the ends of the earth fear Him!"

Justice a long in coming

2008-12-18T17:54:00.007+03:00

Col. Theoneste Bagasora, the main organizer behind the 1994 slaughter of more than 500,000 people in Rwanda, was convicted of genocide 12/17/08 and sentenced to life in prison. He was found guilty of crimes against humanity. The court said he used his position as the former director of Rwanda's Ministry of Defense to direct Hutu soldiers to kill Tutsis and moderate Hutus.
His conviction was welcomed by genocide survivors, who still live uneasily among perpetrators in Rwanda's green hills nearly 15 years later. Bagosora also was found responsible for the deaths of former Rwandan Prime Minister Agathe Uwilingiyimana, a moderate Hutu, and 10 Belgian peacekeepers who tried to protect her as she was killed at the outset of the genocide. At the time of the genocide, Bagasora was the second-highest ranking official in the defense department. (Associated Press)

If the world were a village of 100 project

2008-12-15T20:24:00.003+03:00

If we could reduce the world’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

The village would have 60 Asians, 14 Africans, 12 Europeans, 8 Latin Americans, 5 from the USA and Canada, and 1 from the South Pacific
51 would be male, 49 would be female
82 would be non-white; 18 white
67 would be non-Christian; 33 would be Christian
80 would live in substandard housing (a very subjective stat)
67 would be unable to read
50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
33 would be without access to a safe water supply
39 would lack access to improved sanitation
24 would not have any electricity (And of the 76 that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)
7 people would have access to the Internet
1 would have a college education
1 would have HIV
5 would control 32% of the entire world’s wealth; all 5 would be US citizens
33 would be receiving --and attempting to live on-- only 3% of the income of “the village”

These statistics were taken from the STATE OF THE VILLAGE REPORT by Donella H. Meadows, published in 1990 as "Who lives in the Global Village?" and updated in 2005.

Statistics

2008-12-15T19:45:00.005+03:00

Taken from www.one.org/

In 2007, HIV/AIDS killed 2.2 million people, 1.7 million people died from tuberculosis (TB) and malaria killed another 881,000 people. These global pandemics disproportionately affect the world’s poorest people and Africa is by far the hardest hit: over 8,000 people die every day in Africa from these three preventable and treatable diseases.
The human impact of HIV/AIDS, TB and malaria is undeniable, but their socioeconomic impact is also severe. In Africa, AIDS threatens to wipe out an entire generation during its most productive years- businesses are losing their workers, governments are losing their civil servants and families are losing their breadwinners. These three diseases are having a measurable impact throughout developing world: 12.1 million children in Africa have already lost one or both parents to AIDS. Some estimates indicate that annual GDP growth rates in countries with high incidences of HIV/AIDS can be 2-4% lower than in countries with an absence of the disease. It is estimated that malaria-an entirely preventable and treatable disease-costs Africa $12 billion in lost economic growth each year.

Evidence for Action
The good news is that these diseases are preventable and treatable using proven, cost-effective strategies:
Antiretroviral medication to treat people living with HIV/AIDS costs as little as $140 per patient per year, down from nearly $10,000 a year less than 10 years ago.
Malaria can be all but eliminated through four highly successful interventions: insecticide-treated bed nets (which cost $6 to manufacture and distribute) and anti-malarial treatment (which costs $2 per dose), as well as indoor residual spraying and preventative treatment for pregnant women.
In many endemic countries, $16-35 will buy a full six month drug course of TB treatments.
The establishment of initiatives such as the Global Fund, PEPFAR and the President’s Malaria Initiative has helped to dramatically scale up global resources to fight these diseases: In 2002, only 50,000 HIV-positive people in Africa had access to antiretroviral medicines (only 1% of those in need). At the end of 2007, over 2 million Africans (30% of those in need) — and 2 million people globally (31% of those in need) — were receiving treatment. To protect families from malaria, the Global Fund has helped deliver 59 million bed nets since 2002. In Rwanda and Ethiopia, the dramatic scale-up of bed nets and anti-malaria treatment has reduced malaria deaths by over 50% in the past two years. Moving Forward Despite recent successes, current efforts are not on the scale necessary. Around the world, 6.7 million people who need antiretroviral treatment are still not receiving it and 7,400 people are newly infected with HIV each day. In 2005, world leaders committed to helping provide universal access to AIDS prevention, care and treatment by 2010, but there is still no plan in place for realizing this ambitious goal. Malaria is still responsible for one in every five childhood deaths in Africa. 2.5 million Africans become newly infected with TB each year and more than 500,000 of those infected people die.Much more must be done on all three of these deadly diseases and one necessary prerequisite for doing so is increased global funding. While the world spent approximately $10 billion fighting HIV/AIDS in 2007, UNAIDS estimates that funding levels will need to increase by over 50% by 2010 in order to maintain the current scale up of universal access for prevention, care and treatment. Malaria efforts will require between $1.9-3.1 billion per year and stopping TB will cost an estimated $3.1 billion from donors annually but in 2007 donors fell more than $1 billion short. Furthermore, it is becoming increasingly clear that health systems must be strengthened in order to deliver these scaled up services. Already stretched doctors, nurses and pharmacists as well as the systems and facilities that support them must be reinforced not just to address AIDS, TB and malaria but to ensure that while we do so, we don't further exacerbate other basic health challenges as well. HIV/AIDS, TB and malaria can be defeated, but if the effective solutions that are currently within reach are scaled up dramatically.

"We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world's goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and in truth." 1 John 3;16-18

Aid in Sudan

2008-12-15T00:06:00.006+03:00

Inspired by the movie The Girl in the Cafe, I have done some research on actual G8 Summits and what is going on in Africa based on the work of the Bush Administration. I found this on a government website. Unfortunately the vast needs in Africa and the tremendous obstacles to true reform of hearts, minds and power make it inadequate to completely eradicate the devastation of the past few years in Sudan and other areas in Africa where greed, corruption, ignorance, racism and power hungry people hurt others by the thousand.

In a nutshell at this year's G8 Summit discussions regarding Africa resulted in the G8 leaders announcing new measures on improving education, health, water supplies and sanitation and increasing the number of doctors and nurses in Africa. They set a five-year deadline to commit $60-billion in funding to help Africa fight disease, including pledging 100 million mosquito nets by 2010 which will prevent thousands of deaths from malaria. They also renewed a commitment made three years ago to double aid for Africa to $25-billion by 2010 and to consider pledging further assistance after 2010

The following facts were posted on a US Government website. They sound fabulous--I just confess I doubt that the full intended goals will be reached on the other side of the ocean.

Fact Sheet: Leading the Global Response to the Crisis in Darfur
President Bush Meets With Sudanese Human Rights Advocate, Pledges Continued U.S. Support To End The Violence In Darfur
"For too long, the people of Darfur have suffered at the hands of a government that is complicit in the bombing, murder, and rape of innocent civilians. My Administration has called these actions by their rightful name: genocide. The world has a responsibility to help put an end to it. ... I promise this to the people of Darfur: the United States will not avert our eyes from a crisis that challenges the conscience of the world." – President George W. Bush, 5/29/07
The United States Is Committed To Ending The Genocide In Darfur
The United States is the largest single donor to the people of Sudan, including to Darfur where more than 2.5 million are currently displaced. America leads the world in responding to the crisis there by providing humanitarian assistance to vulnerable populations, facilitating the deployment of an international peacekeeping force, and promoting a lasting political settlement. Specifically, the United States providing support through:
Humanitarian Aid and Human Rights. The United States is the leading international donor to Sudan, providing more than $5 billion in assistance to Sudan since 2005, including $3.7 billion in humanitarian and peacekeeping assistance to Darfur. In 2008, the United States provided half of the World Food Program's food aid request for more than 6 million people throughout Sudan and eastern Chad. In FY 2007, the United States gave more than $1 billion in assistance to the people of Sudan, including Darfur.
More than 30 U.S. Government partners are currently implementing programs to provide food, health, shelter, water, and other life-saving services, in the face of the many challenges caused by escalating banditry, bureaucratic impediments, and attacks on humanitarian staff. The United States also continues to promote efforts to ensure the safety and basic rights of Darfur's most vulnerable people. The United States has spearheaded a $16 million initiative to combat the widespread violence against women and girls and help communities to heal. The U.S. government supports radio programming in local languages on human rights issues and peace processes that are directed at persons displaced because of the conflict and other vulnerable populations in Darfur.

Earlier this year, the President made available $100 million in U.S. funding to augment the training and equipping of African peacekeepers pledged to deploy under UNAMID. Up to $40 million dollars of these new funds ensured that Rwanda's forces have the training and equipment they need to deploy four battalions (3,200 troops) to Darfur. Already, the United States has helped train more than 7,000 Rwandans for peacekeeping in Darfur and spent more than $40 million to ensure they are properly prepared, equipped, and on the ground.
Economic Sanctions. Since violence erupted in Darfur in 2003, the United States has imposed economic sanctions on seven Sudanese individuals responsible for violence in Darfur and on more than 160 companies owned or controlled by the Government of Sudan (GOS).
The United States supports a political solution to the ongoing Darfur conflict, including necessary security and compensation provisions as outlined in the DPA, which creates broad structures for an eventual outcome that will allow millions of Darfuris to return to their homes and rebuild their lives in peace.

Loss

2008-12-01T03:45:00.002+03:00

Last night at the hospital I had my first experience with death. A little one was born too early and did not survive the night. I helped prepare him to spend his last moments with he parents. Their grief over the loss of this long awaited child broke my heart and I was unable to maintain my composure.
I know in Africa, death will be a common occurrence. Somehow God will help me to bear the sadness, made more frustrating and heartbreaking because death there is so often unnecessary because of malnutrition, untreated malaria, AIDS and parasites.

It’s better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness. --Confucius

Living with an attitude of Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T22:18:00.005+03:00

Today I have countless things and people and blessings for which to be thankful. Yet I'm allowing a gloom to overshadow my normal thankful and light heart. I begin working nights tonight at the hospital. This as a big challenge. Normally my brain functions well until about 9pm, then the clarity and reason I have fall away in increasing amounts until I am not at all reasonable in the wee hours of the morning. At work, I will not only need to be alert, but observant, patient, able to compute medication calculations and catch signs that my patients are deteriorating, hemmoraging, decompensating, etc.

Deep down I know God will give me grace with this portion of my work, but my heart is doubtful at times. I am so thankful for my position at Mercy. I trust that He will help me maintain a thankful heart in the wee hours.

We have been in God’s thought from all eternity, and in His creative love, His attention never leaves us. --Micheal Quoist

Benefitting Kenyans

2008-11-16T06:14:00.006+03:00

Today I ran the Mountain Home Half-Marathon for Kenya. It is an annual marathon, half-marathon, 5K event that benefits a village in Kenya called Katito. The race raises both funds for and awareness about the town's people. Some of the Mountain Home people who organize the race visit and volunteer each year in Katito as part of the nonprofit organization known as World Vision. This year the money will go toward digging wells for clean drinking water.

Pre-race the runners had the typical competitive air of deprecating their training runs and previous race times. Most wore expensive and colorful moisture wicking running tights and jackets. The average running shoe probably cost over $100. Many had flown to the area to run in this marathon in Arkansas as one of their "Marathon in all 50 states." There was an abundance of pre and post race food. There were free massages for all runners and prizes for the first three finishers in each category. I was struck by all the work, money and materials that were required to make this an event that American runners would enjoy and want to return to annually.

Yet on the other side of the world all the busyness and expense of this American culture event will result in fresh water for hundreds of people and perhaps prolonged life for some who would suffer from dysentery if they did not have it. We take our fresh food and water for granted here; there it is a precious commodity. It is exciting to think of how much help this event that we running Americans so enjoy will provide for people living vastly different lives.

“Isn’t it wonderful that no one need wait a moment to improve the world.” Anne Frank

Daydreaming

2008-11-12T21:06:00.005+03:00

This morning I spent quite some time looking at blogs and articles about ministry in Africa online. I now find myself in dreamland while I go about the mundane American tasks of my day. I long to be there, yet have a firm grasp on the reality that life will be difficult. I won't have conveniences of material things and the ability to call up a long time friend and see her at moments notice. I won't have the ability to worship the way I am accustomed. I will have a language and a cultural barrier. I will be dependant on God in a more desperate ways for my food, shelter, community and health.

Yet with all these daunting and inconvenient things, I cannot wait to be among the people where God places me. I want to walk along a dusty path to the creek with my African women friends. I want to wash clothes beside them in the river or basins. I want to smell the dried grasses and bush fires. I want to hear the goats and sheep. I want to use my stethoscope and listen to little gaunt chests of children and teach their mothers about nutrition and clean water. I want to write home about the events of the day and try to convey the joy I know I will experience serving Jesus the way He wants me to serve.

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
-- Henry David Thoreau

I caught a baby!

2008-11-02T21:54:00.004+03:00

Friday at work I was permitted to 'catch the baby' from the c-section. After the physician clamped and cut the cord she handed the baby to me. I took her over to the warmer and helped clean her up, suctioned the nose and mouth and determined the APGAR Score. So cool and scary to the the first one to really hold a newborn!

"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127:3

Listening

2008-10-30T04:18:00.004+03:00

In this busy, busy, American life I find that I keep my mind almost constantly stimulated with music, media, phone calls, text messages, reading, writing, working and playing. I do not allow enough time each day to be still, to be quiet, to listen, to hear from God or to process through meaningful conversations or analyze patient interactions to see the root of the issue. My mind zips here and there, like a nervous butterfly.

There are activities in each day where I am more inclined to listen, when the monotony or familiarity of the tasks allow my mind to quiet. These for me are running, showering, lawn mowing and painting or sketching. I have some of my best times with Jesus then.

I am training for a half-marathon primarily by myself, which gives me moments of peace and reflection-- when pain or fatigue do not demand my attention. Running long distances has a quieting effect on my spiritual heart.

Lead me to the cross

Savior I come
Quiet my soul, remember
Redemption's hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom

Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost
Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and tried
Human
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost
Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross
To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart

Precious Bundles

2008-10-23T05:42:00.004+03:00

The Mercy Medical Center Newborn Nursery is designed so that one wall of the nursery is made up almost entirely of windows that allow a wide view of the room and all that goes on inside. This is where I care for the precious lives of the babies born at Mercy. There at those windows dads, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends of the parents watch me do the assessments and give the first bath for the little life they have been awaiting. The weight of their gaze is upon me and I am intimidated and honored to have the responsibility.

I have spent two days working in the nursery thus far. I am still slow and methodical with the myriad of assessments necessary. Knowing the parents are waiting to bond with their newborn drives me to work quickly, but since the tasks are still unfamiliar to me--I take significantly longer to complete the tasks than the experienced nurses. Aaahh! I feel like I am rushing, but I am sure to the mother the time her precious bundle is away from her breast seems interminable. It is so fun to take the infant out to the mother's room when I finish my tasks. Their understandable frustration with us for having their newborn for the past hour or two melts away and they get that soft, loving look of wonder on their faces when I place their precious bundle in their arms. What a fun job!