Self Appraisal

Nursing School is, by its intense and stressful design, revealing to me things about myself which I do not like. I have become anxious a great number of times in the past few weeks. I have failed to find my peace with God in the rush of responsibility and the amount of material I must learn. I have pitied myself for being too busy for social activities.

Additionally saddening me, I find my competitive spirit coming out in unhealthy levels and I have this drive to excel at what I do, to score the best, to get recognition for my efforts. That drive would be fine if motivated by God, but it is powered by my sinful pride and desire for the approval of man. I get a little nauseous when I force myself to look at these areas in my life. I do not want to be this way. What a pity for me to get to this point in this God given assignment and seek my own agenda and praise.

Knowing my propensity for cycles of sin, repentance and restoration followed by another cycle of the same, I invite you to gently remind me of the big picture, the glorious calling. Tis better to walk in love, to serve compassionately, to walk humbly with the humble as Jesus did, and to have my work go unnoticed than to be the best clinician, to do my work with meticulous excellence and have the praise of man. Right now, what I seek is the pleasure of my Lord.

There is always the danger that we may just do the work for the sake of the work. This is where the respect and the love and the devotion come in - that we do it to God, to Christ, and that's why we try to do it as beautifully as possible. Mother Teresa