Pride

I took the NCLEX state nuring board exam yesterday. I went into the testing center confident and trusting God that as a good student who studied and desires to serve God as a nurse-- I would pass. However, after five questions my pulse and blood pressure had elevated and I was quietly begging God for help. The exam was so difficult! There were 75 questions. Only five or six of them were questions I felt confident I knew the correct answer for. Many of them were questions that none of the answers seemed correct or all of the answers seemed correct. I feel like I failed it. Within two and a half hours my confidence in my intelligence and test taking abilities was wiped out.

If I did fail I will be eligible to retake it in one month. That would mean I must study diligently every day until retake day. More than the stress, expense and time requirements of daily study--it bothers me because I am prideful. It is humiliating that I may have been unable to pass it. Unfortunately I take ridiculous pride in my academic achievements.

I had thought God would help me to pass the exam because He has called me to be a nurse. However, I now believe He may have allowed me to fail it on this first attempt to teach me humility--a lesson I have learned a hundred times over the years, but need continual refresher courses.