dehumanizing

When having the opportunity to watch medical shows prior to nursing school, I have found myself appalled when the nurses, doctors and clinicians refer to the patients as the cutter, the COPDer, the frequent flyer, the brain herniation, the fractured femur, the nail in the knee, the transplant, etc. I have found their fighting and competing for the most interesting and unusual patients dehumanizaing, callous and crude. However, to a degree, I now understand their insensitivity. While in the hospital setting there is a drive to see what one has not seen before, to observe the invasive surgeries, to look at the MRI with massive internal injuries, to see the unusual tumor, etc.


During my ER rotation I found myself hoping that interesting traumas would come in or that I would get to participate in a code blue. However, at the end of the days, separated in time and proximity from the hospital, it struck me that for me to be able to learn from seeing and doing those things--someone would be suffering and dying. There is a detachment from the reality of suffering when you are in the adrenaline rush of the moment.

I am happy to say that no one has died on the floors that I have been assigned to in the past 14 months. I have witnessed two code blues and the patients were resuscitated.

I hope that I will remember the inherent value of every individual I meet and the sanctity of life--no matter how strong my desire to learn or be exposed to the unusual situations, illnesses and injuries our patients find themselves experiencing. Obviously I know it it is the soul that matters most--and I want to function every day with that focus.